By Mary - 10/07/2011 12:49 - United States
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43 you know how weird that would sound? The baby comes out and the husband is like "thank you for my baby." if he is like me and has an accent (yeah I know everyone has an accent but you know what I mean) it would be really creepy. A baby is a gift but isn't literally a gift. Thank you is said when people give you something, or does something nice for you. It would be really weird to say that for a baby.
i'm not sure how 43 meant the comment to come across but i read it as sarcasm. as a father he is supposed to help take care of the baby which involves changing diapers. if he expects to be thanked every time he does something that he is supposed to do then he should thank the mother for doing something she is supposed to do, which in your opinion is give birth.
you better thank him! he had to put up with 9 months of you being fat, your mood swings, your food cravings and your disgusting morning sickness. so telling him thank you for changing the babies diaper ,a job that the woman is supposed to always do anyways, is the least you could do
it is her body. and she did marry him. a lot of men (and women) seem to change after marriage or after the first child is born. if OP is smart, she will either sit him down and let him know he had as much to do with making the kid as she did. they both got pleasure from it (normally... lol that doesn't always apply) she did the baking, he's just helping with the growing up part. which is the hardest and quite a thankless job.
In the animal kingdom it is the mothers responsibility. And she is female. It is expected of her to go through the pain. It is nothing out of the normal. It has been happening for millions of years. She isn't some amazing creature for giving birth. Very few women don't.
before everything explodes more and chaos rules over these comments, has everyone thought, that maybe OP asked her husband to change the diapers, and that's why he demands a "thank you" from her part. because i really doubt that the husband just out of the blue asks for a thank you come on people, let's be racional
How does her asking him to change the diaper change whether or not he needs a thank you? Does he ask her to and thank her? The point is it's a shared responsibility, not a special task that needs a gold star. That being said, what does saying thank you hurt? Keep the peace, say it (heck both say it), make him feel appreciated and maybe he will do it more. I always figure, pick your battles.
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So you want to change every single one of your child's diapers and never allow anyone else to do so. Gee, you guys really want the full parenting experience! I meant by my post that if my husband wished to change a diaper for me, I'd be thankful. Mothers are busy.
Or maybe he thanks her for every single thing she does and he feels he should be thanked too. There is not enough of the story to say who is right and who isn't. Maybe he's an asshole who wants to be thanked for taking care of his child, or maybe he's a wonderful father who does everything whilst the mum sits and he wants to be thanked for it.
Think of it the other way, what husband thanks a wife for changing their kids diapers all the time? It's both of their responsibility to care for the child. I think if the wife asks the father to change it and he says yes you should say thanks but if he just does it because he knows it has to be done then I dont see why a thankyou is needed.
Lexious, HE IS THE FATHER. He is the one who made the baby in the first place with the help of his wife. He should not be thanked every time he changes a diaper; it is part of his duty as a father. Op has to do it just as much as he does, if not more, without thank. It is the duty of the parents to take care of the child they created together. Neither parent should be praised more than the other for the same jobs they do. That's kind of sexist in my opinion.
seriously people if you share responsibility for something then you should do equal parts. the problem with el is that it is impossible to do everything equally, some jobs are bad and some even worse. if someone volunteers to do the worse job they should be thanked, because they are relieving you of having to take that same job. regardless of how you believe this person is acting from the 0 actual information given the guy is doing a job, and whenever someone does a job whether it is yours or theirs and it benefits you or someone you care about you should always say thank you because that is the polite thing to do and helps the other person to feel alot better about what they did. ps. anyone that called this guy sexist needs to get a life, just because someone wants to be thanked and treated like a respectable human being doesn't mean they believe the woman should be entirely responsible for taking care of the baby. grow up and stop calling "sexist" every time someone of a different gender does something you don't like.
here's an instance where a thank you is nice. husband is in the shower while I'm dealing with my 3 year old getting dressed. my husband walks out of the bathroom in a towel clearly needs to get dressed as I already am. but instead notices little susie's diaper is full so instead of getting dressed himself he changes her diaper because I'm busy with little Tommy. 'oh, thanx babe'. also, I was raised to thank my mom for dinner every night. it was her job to feed her kids but we said thank you. do I think I need to thank my husband for every diaper? no. but in some cases it's just nice. appreciating each other leads to a great marriage. temper tantrums, though, lead to couples therapy.
Responding to what lexeous said in comment #66... "both parents" should get a thank you for raising their kids? WTF? Quite a few parents plan kids, and know life is difficult with one. The ones who don't plan them and step up to bat usually figure it out too. Yes, lets thank people for having sex and then taking responsibility for the consequences. (planned or not) IDIOT. This whole "it doesn't take much effort to thank someone" argument is obviously from the childless. He wants to be thanked EVERY TIME, and if he isn't, he throws a tantrum. That's childish. Bet he didn't thank her every time she breast-fed, changed a diaper, shut the kid up, etc. My guess is he also didn't thank her for warping her body with stretch marks, extra weight and a ripped open vagina either. You want to be a daddy? Change your damn kid's diaper, or beat it and pay child support. Moral of the story... if you don't have children and you're making a dumb argument, you're in for some interesting surprises.
As a stay at home mom, anytime some one besides myself changes my sons diaper I thank them. Whether it's my husband or my mom. They're helping me out so I can get something else done and I want to let them know I appreciate it. My husband works and I raise our child. He thanks me all the time for staying home with our son and I thank him for doing such a great job providing for us. It's just the way it works. Saying thank you isn't a hard thing to do although many seem to think so.
Hmm... His wife probably gained from the pregnancy some stretch marks, and quite a bit of weight, (which is very hard to lose) spent 9 months probably fairly uncomfortable, maybe some morning sickness, some hormonal swings, and having to pee every five minutes, then had some pain, either had her vagina stretched to a point where she'll need to do keegles for a few years or a surgery that she would need to recover from, all to give this guy someone to be a father to. My guess is he never once said thank you, since men usually take all that for granted. Yeah, he SHOULD be thanked for his two minutes of changing a diaper, it's such hard work.
Honey, be thankful he even changes diapers. My daughter's father had never changed a diaper and she's almost a year old. I would just say thank you, but that's me
This is how I read your comment: "Honey, be thankful your husband even acts like a normal father is supposed to do." Ffs, isn't it common decency for people who love eachother to help their spouse without the need of being thanked every single time? Or in your case, isn't it common decency for people who love eachother to help their spouse?
76- it us absolutely his job to help, but since I have been on the other ens if the spectrum, with a bf ego never did a damn thing just because he worked, I would just thank him if he did something for our daughter. Not that he ever did. If that's the case and I were her, I would just say thank you