Love: Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating...

By Hm - 08/02/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, I found out the love of my life, my husband, is cheating on me. When I confronted him about it, his response was, "Don't blame me, you're the gullible bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 416

You deserved it 3 985

Love

This Charming Man

Walk the line

Put your back into it

By Anonymous - 10/04/2017 00:00

Today, I learned that the college I'm going to in the fall has been tampering with their ratings on the internet and actually only has a 5% graduation rate. Everything's already been paid for and I can't transfer elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 926

You deserved it 544

By stepknee - 14/10/2009 02:31 - United States

Today, we had a fire drill in my dorm, and I live on the 7th floor of my building. They shut the elevators down and I had to walk down 14 flights of steps. I shattered my kneecap last week. They turned the alarm off when I got to the first floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 514

You deserved it 2 157

By Redhead - 22/08/2018 06:00

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 419

You deserved it 877

By red - 27/09/2012 11:37 - United States - Portland

Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 006

You deserved it 8 221

By Cindy1897 - 27/08/2017 20:00

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed and took the pain medicine that the oral surgeon prescribed for me before bed. The pain actually did go away for the most part, until my stomach decided to betray me and make me throw up, forcing my jaw to open more than it could after surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 544

You deserved it 252

By Widowmaker - 28/11/2012 18:09 - United States - Henderson

Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 670

You deserved it 48 517

By subduedbeast - 27/10/2014 18:48 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 195

You deserved it 4 268

Do as I say…

By Anonymous - 25/08/2020 02:08 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my mother woke up again in a bad mood due to the quarantine and went off on how us siblings complain about each other all the time. Truth is, she's the one complaining non stop about whichever sibling is not in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 106

By wtf yourself, cunt - 17/09/2012 23:14 - Australia - Sydney

Today, at school, a guy walked up to me and said I look a little too young to be at high school. I told him that I'm sixteen years old. He stared at my chest for several long seconds, muttered "What the fuck?" and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 516

You deserved it 2 791

Saucy devil

By Anonymous - 16/02/2021 22:58

Today, I was helping my Dad with an internet issue he was having. He gave me his tablet to check it out. I opened the browser, and there were 8 tabs open. All of them were PornHub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 130

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 373

You deserved it 2 846

By Lauren Smith - 17/10/2010 16:52 - United States

Today, I came home from work. I was really tired and told my son that I would make him dinner later. He called the cops saying, "Mommy won't feed me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 269

You deserved it 6 161

More reasons to stay at home

By Anonymous - 11/09/2021 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my local pub has now closed so now the only bar within staggering distance of my house is an entertainment centre. So now, if I want to drink myself blotto, I can no longer do it in peace and quiet, I have to do it to the background noise of some cartoon monkey and 100 rotten kids screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 1 041

By Scott - 15/09/2011 07:34 - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 210

You deserved it 6 382

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 02:36 - Australia

Today, after my second date with an otherwise charming guy, he called me a whore for turning him down for sex. Yeah, I'm trying to work out the logic of that too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 569

You deserved it 1 824

By noiguessitsbroken :( - 07/08/2013 12:24 - Lithuania - Kaunas

Today, I asked my mum why she never had any children after me. She scoffed and asked if I've looked in a mirror lately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 640

You deserved it 4 827

By kiki - 24/02/2010 05:54 - United States

Today, before my date came to pick me up, I put tissues under my arms so I wouldn't leave wet marks. I forgot to remove them, and when we got physical, they fell out, looking like I'd stuffed my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 375

You deserved it 33 387

By royallymessedup - 21/08/2014 16:36

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 571

You deserved it 7 849

By Jacquelinez - 20/05/2012 18:20 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I went mini golfing with his family. We had a competition going on, and when I managed to get two consecutive holes in one, he started seething and muttered that I'm dangerously close to becoming single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 004

You deserved it 3 098

By stinky - 24/01/2012 08:15 - United States

Today, my co-worker handed me a note. The note said, "If you can, please take a shower once in a while." The smell was coming from the broken bathroom next to my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 743

You deserved it 2 653

Can't compete

By Anonymous - 09/01/2021 17:01

Today, my husband told me, "Your job is easy! You do nothing but play and have fun with children all day." Mind you, I'm a toddler teacher and have 10 children in a day. When I come home from work, he complains he’s tired because he was watching our only child who's a toddler. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 87

By ritz - 10/09/2009 14:15 - United States

Today, I was leaving my job at a huge mall. I couldn't find my car anywhere, so I panicked and flagged a security officer. I cried while he drove me around for miles in the endless parking lot. Then, suddenly, I remembered. My friend had dropped me off in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 510

You deserved it 55 975

By hatemylife - 19/07/2011 06:24 - United States

Today, a group of girl-scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought 2 bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 882

You deserved it 6 904

By AmberHavoc - 02/01/2013 15:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 981

You deserved it 46 669

By Weak Disposition - 27/04/2012 04:29 - United States - Roanoke

Today, I entered a hotdog eating contest. I made it up to two, threw up on the rest of them, and fell over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 283

You deserved it 29 509

By "schober60" - 15/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I frantically finished a paper that I needed to complete before midnight about the competencies of my pharmacy school. When it came time to submit, I accidentally selected the file below my paper, which was my personal log of beer reviews and personal favorites. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 159

You deserved it 3 072

I don't need a Xanny to feel better

By Paprika - 12/05/2021 04:01

Today, my psychiatrist prescribed Xanax. I thought that was a little extreme and that my anxiety wasn't bad enough for that. Within the next hour, I had 2 panic attacks. I guess I'm worse off than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 103

Bye then!

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 18:57 - Mexico - Garza Garcia

Today, while on holiday. I got a call to let me know my job will be gone away when I return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 885

You deserved it 57

What?

By Patrick - 29/10/2020 03:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Couva

Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 147

You deserved it 72

Fake it til you make it

By foreveralone15 - 24/06/2021 10:59

Today, I sprained an arm muscle while pretending to lift weights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 708

By Anonymous - 27/08/2012 07:29 - United States - Brockton

Today, I got a flat tire. The spare was also flat, so I had no other choice but to walk home. I got to my house and realized I'd left the front door key and garage clicker in my car 5 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 393

You deserved it 10 176

By TheCrossingChick - 30/11/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 631

You deserved it 28 810

By StijnDescamps - 13/08/2019 16:00

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 1 895

By hannamacintosh - 28/06/2016 17:30 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 673

You deserved it 1 564

By smellynelly - 17/05/2015 16:13 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out the reason my co-workers have been giving me gum every day is not because of their generosity, but because everyone in the office thinks my breath smells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 818

You deserved it 11 342

Sketchy

By Anonymous - 13/05/2021 02:01

Today, I met my boyfriend’s female friend. We all went out to dinner, he paid for her meal instead of mine, asked me why I’m not a redhead like her, and when he dropped her off at her house, spent the entire hour car ride talking about how perfect she is. He still has no idea why I’m upset with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 309

You deserved it 131

By Anonymous - 23/08/2010 06:21 - United States

Today, I went shopping with my Mom. I ran into my crush. A school dance is soon and he WAS just about to ask something but my mom glanced over and yelled "TAMPONS OR PADS, SWEETIE?!" He then changed his question to "Haha, so which?" And before I could say a word, my mother answered for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 932

You deserved it 3 657

Thanks for the help

By singlemom - 15/07/2021 16:01

Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 931

You deserved it 146

By Pisser - 26/06/2014 04:57 - United States - Portland

Today, my sweet 7-month-old puppy ran up to a big fat dog at the park and did what she always does: roll over on her back to start to play. The big fat dog lifted his leg and peed all over my puppy's belly. After the shock, my soaking wet puppy jumped on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 117

You deserved it 5 692

Underestimated overachiever

By Anonymous - 27/03/2020 20:00

Today, I told my cousin I was admitted to a top MBA program. He asked if it was an online-only certificate program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 209

You deserved it 176

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

ayerimrod 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:29

divorse him and get EVERYTHING!!

Reynard12 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:21

Well, at least you know for a fact that the next one will be much, much better.

Reynard12 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:21

Well, at least you know for a fact that the next one will be much, much better.

TrekkieGirl 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 14:19

Well hopefully now, you've changed your tune about him being 'the love of your life'. He sounds like a complete ass. The fact that instead of showing remorse, he put the blame on you, should tell you exactly what he thinks of you. FYL, OP...it's time to walk away.

Rocco1990 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 16:06

I could have sworn that women cheat too.

ash92_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 16:26

um yeahh... but im not sure how thats relevant? asshole.

canigoswimming 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 16:46

WTF does that have to do with this 72? You're a dick.

Alicia10_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 16:49

I think tha asshole deserves to be shot, or at least have someone beat his ass.... I don't go for that shit, u give ur all to him n only him n that's how he repays u?!? real nice

Cristaderzi 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 21:34

Maybe she didnt give him her all in actuality!!! Just a thought!

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 23:56

#100: Are you naturally this stupid or are you just trying to troll? It's hard to tell from how idiotic your comment is.

jme89 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 9 February 2010 8:17

agreed 74. ur an idiot, 72.

nando92 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:22

haha wow soo mean

22cute 17

Send a private message

Thursday 27 October 2011 11:34

Another word for gulible is trusting. Shame on him for breaking your trust.

qwerty3210 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:22

hahaha classic!

fmlstatushater 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 15:11

what's with the "ha"? you must have the cheater mentality.

skeleton_skinner 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:24

Sad! :(

SunnyMarkos 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 9 February 2010 0:17

but funny

vampyre_girly 0

Send a private message

Tuesday 9 February 2010 0:56

hehe

WorldCupCheer 0

Send a private message

Friday 4 June 2010 8:15

funny but sad :)

JESUSlives4MUSIC 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:24

ydi for being the gullible bich

justanotherbird 19

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:24

Aw, that really sucks. Definitely an FYL.

ihavenoname123 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:25

confronted him? CONFRONTED HIM?! what the fuck? don't be a bitch about it.

windswept 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:46

wanker

shootintacos 0

Send a private message

Monday 12 December 2011 13:54

YOU WANT THE TRUTH?! YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!! Shut it, troll.

mahamii_93 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:25

aww... FYL

RedMiniStapler 1

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:27

what a dickhead! divorce him and get half!

ayerimrod 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 9:29

divorse him and get EVERYTHING!!

Kirth_fml 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 10:03

Why the fuck should she be getting everything? The man worked too, you know; perhaps even more than the "gullible bitch".

datgo321 0

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 18:19

because he doesn't even deserve life for being that inconsiderate

AngryNinja 1

Send a private message

Monday 8 February 2010 21:38

what, you think the asswipe that married op and cheated on her because she believed he loved her.. i mean.. because she's ''gullible'' should get ANYTHING? only thing he has is a one-way ticket to hell.

shootintacos 0

Send a private message

Monday 12 December 2011 13:57

Women always get everything. Rule #1: never piss a woman off, they'll take everything. I will now let the feminist run marathons of thumbs down on this.