Work: Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car...

By Username - 01/02/2011 15:40

Today, a snow storm rolled into my small town, leaving my car stuck under 3 feet of snow. I called my boss to tell her I couldn't drive to work. Her reply? "Walk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 320

You deserved it 5 872

Work

You tried

Own it

Vulture

By Guess I'm not getting laid - 03/08/2018 14:30 - United States - Glasgow

Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 549

You deserved it 345

By erlad678 - 04/01/2011 02:59

Today, I was woken up by the sound of part of my kitchen ceiling hitting the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 2 451

By amythest - 13/02/2012 00:18 - United Kingdom

Today, even though she can barely deal with raising kids, my 19-year-old sister announced her fourth pregnancy, by a fourth man, of yet another race. Why? Because she wants to "be like Angelina Jolie." I fear that social services may laugh at me if I tell them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 697

You deserved it 3 129

By tikizombie - 30/08/2010 20:10 - Canada

Today, I was moving out of my old place. While walking around to make sure I would get my damage deposit back, I stepped on my roommate's lipstick and smeared it all over the white carpet. Then, I tripped on the phone cord and ripped the whole thing out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 142

You deserved it 8 356

By Anonymous - 16/07/2009 05:32 - United States

Today, I learned that walking on the sidewalk does not mean that you will not be hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 030

You deserved it 4 407

By fthislyfe - 18/07/2011 07:09 - Netherlands

Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 403

You deserved it 3 819

By foreverDark - 14/05/2012 12:40 - United States - Aurora

Today, I woke up after a long night of trying to catch a moth. I'd knocked down furniture and screamed up the house to do so, but I finally got it. What did I see first thing this morning? Another moth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 591

You deserved it 23 418

By russty - 17/01/2010 17:45 - United States

Today, I walked to my car to find a window smashed in. Lucky for me, nothing was stolen. It did, however, rain all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 103

You deserved it 2 354

By Anonymous - 02/10/2011 11:51 - United States

Today, on my way to work I swerved to avoid hitting a dead animal. Too bad I ended up hitting a live one instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 869

You deserved it 8 982

Are you the wife from the previous FML?

By Anonymous - 24/08/2021 04:02

Today, I don’t think I’ve ever been so angry. I was already mad at my husband, but he asked if we could just skip the boring two-hour argument, assume he’d already given me an empty apology and quietly return to hating each other while at least being civil about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 305

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 16:38 - United States

Today, my dad screamed at me because I've been "spending too much money". He's been out of a job for 4 months and I've been giving him 300 dollars a month to help pay for bills... and his beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 631

You deserved it 3 411

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 20:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 025

You deserved it 13 928

By qwertyasdfghzxcv - 11/02/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 601

You deserved it 27 220

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 743

You deserved it 308

By RectalSteve - 10/09/2017 20:00 - United Kingdom - Belfast

Today, I showed my girlfriend some old home videos of me as a kid. My dad must have taped over one though, because halfway through it cut to extremely graphic footage of his colonoscopy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 493

You deserved it 272

By waaah - 25/06/2012 07:00 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He decided he would be a gentleman and do this to me at work, over text, during a rush of unsympathetic customers, the day before our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 345

You deserved it 2 728

By crazydog - 10/06/2011 20:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 598

You deserved it 4 172

By konacoffee17 - 14/12/2014 05:15 - United States - Portland

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 603

You deserved it 3 051

By nopleasestopmother - 02/05/2014 23:03 - United States - Lake Mills

Today, my mother asked me why I disliked her and my father's nakedness in the family pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 417

You deserved it 3 649

By boohoo - 04/06/2012 12:45 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 532

You deserved it 20 966

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 682

You deserved it 13 135

By Anonymous - 27/05/2011 15:44 - Romania

Today, I overheard a conversation between my boyfriend and his best friend about how to shave one's nuts completely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 9 106

By Anonymous - 20/01/2010 05:22 - United States

Today, I woke up to my cell phone alarm buzzing. It wasn't time to wake up yet, so I snoozed it. It buzzed again, this time with "One New Voicemail." I had "snoozed" my nephew. Stationed in Iraq. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 810

You deserved it 14 092

By thefailwhale - 16/06/2012 04:58 - United States - Hartford

Today, it was my birthday. When my crush spotted me in the hallway and wished me a Happy Birthday, my nerves got the best of me and I blurted, "You too". FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 969

You deserved it 5 311

By Rev - 18/03/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 034

You deserved it 8 956

Sorry Stuart…

By connor1701 - 27/02/2017 20:00

Today, I went to put my coat on to go out. I put my hand in my pocket, not knowing there was a mouse sleeping in there. I squeezed it, it bit me and ran off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 304

You deserved it 627

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 156

You deserved it 2 360

This is the rhythm of the night

By rikitsumiatsu - 10/04/2020 02:00

Today, my wife showed me a video she took of me last night. I was shit-faced, dancing half naked to '90s club music in the middle of the street at midnight. She won't stop laughing at me and replaying the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 2 071

By redriver - 18/06/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, exactly 28 days after I started my last period, I started a new period. This would be perfectly healthy and normal except that my last period was 24 days long. This has happened every month this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 432

You deserved it 292

Freaked out

By Anonymous - 16/06/2020 02:02

Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 970

You deserved it 225

Backwards world

By Anonymous - 03/10/2020 03:02 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, my life is so messed up that when I got pulled over, the officer asked about my life and not only did I not receive a ticket, he made me write down his personal number, patrol number and to call if I ever needed a favor or to talk, telling me that I had a friend in him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 254

By no luck - 30/09/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I found out less than 3 weeks before my wedding my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 061

You deserved it 3 577

Zoomers zooming

By Anonymous - 26/06/2020 08:08

Today, I was blowing my husband when we heard that distinctive shutter noise, and we realised our daughter had taken a photo of us. Apparently, she meant to take a video because she knows a website where any kind of "spying on people having sex" video will earn her $50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 437

You deserved it 673

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 19:29 - United States - Greeley

Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 070

You deserved it 1 594

By itendstonight - 09/08/2009 12:42 - Ireland

Today, it was my turn to have the trophy my baseball team won a few weeks ago. I then find out that my brother and his buddies thought it would be funny to fill the trophy up with beer, drink the beer, and then pee in it. Not only is it over 50yrs old, it stinks of pee and is due back tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 943

You deserved it 4 364

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 771

You deserved it 7 123

By karengoeswest - 16/08/2018 15:00

Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 893

You deserved it 255

Internet doctor

By ThatYourDoctor - 25/08/2021 00:01

Today, a patient came to the ER at 4 a.m., but left complaining I wasn't treating him properly. I treated his toothache with painkillers that would get him through the night so he could contact a dentist the next day. He showed me a TikTok video of the tooth surgery that he supposedly needed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 49

By Kristin - 03/01/2011 04:14 - United States

Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 490

You deserved it 3 883

By T3kM4n - 20/09/2016 06:08 - United States - Spokane

Today, I've been recovering for a week from my medically needed circumcision. I'm 30, and they advise you wear essentially a jock strap for the first week to help. It wasn't too bad until I went to take the thing off and it caught a stitch on my manhood. That's the most unique pain ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 817

You deserved it 1 219

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Top comments

mikejunior88 4

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:05

lol, i had to call in to work once because my car wouldn't start, & my boss offered to come pick me up. talk about awkward.

sweet_candy_ 17

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:04

Hope you don't get frostbite on your way there :)

sweet_candy_ 17

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:04

Hope you don't get frostbite on your way there :)

ThaMilkshake 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:10

how far away from your wokplace do you live... there's a big difference between 5 minutes or 1 hour of walking... :P

EatnBeef 7

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:21

well, I'm in Oklahoma and I'm stuck at my house with 3 foot snowdrifts all around lol... it's -20 atm

Emrysa 1

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:46

24 I think what you mean is, if it's a business in general, they should be rational, and instead of jeopardizing their workers to make a $100 dollar profit on a slow day to appease the morons who think today is a good day to shop, they should just freaking close down for the day.

kai_li 8

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 22:03

Or they may be a small business that services the whole country? Perhaps they are a wholesaler or in IT and they have customers that aren't affected by a local storm. Everybody is always quick to say the boss sucks but in my experience employees suck more. People think just by showing up they deserve a raise!

tulsafml 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 22:58

I'm in Oklahoma too. maybe op lives in Oklahoma

vettle 6

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Wednesday 2 February 2011 6:16

wow you'd be a horrible person to work for.

CH1234 0

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Wednesday 2 February 2011 11:58

well it's snow. you would be cold within 10 minutes. unless you want to go to work looking Like a marshmellow.

Dragons_corner 6

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Wednesday 2 February 2011 12:40

66 I'm the same way but I don't live in a snow area but I live in a hurricane area. a block and a half from the ocean. I still go to work impede cat 3 and up because I have left town. also I walk around the beach when they come in and walk around the block during it.

deputy_g 5

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Thursday 3 February 2011 0:14

I've never seen snow before :) but I live in Cali XD

mikejunior88 4

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:05

lol, i had to call in to work once because my car wouldn't start, & my boss offered to come pick me up. talk about awkward.

enoughgrace 4

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:20

Yeah, they offered to do you a favor... like a boss...

Anteezy 7

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:33

I can see how it's awkward because you're stuck in a car with your boss, probably forced to have some conversation you don't really feel like having.

mikejunior88 4

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 23:49

#15: lol, considering the fact that i hated my boss & she hated me even more, i really didnt want to be stuck in a car w/ her.

MissFukMyLuck 0

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Wednesday 2 February 2011 0:07

same happened to me this morning. sorry to hear it!!! if only the world could shut down for connivence

adamo_erebus 26

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Tuesday 14 January 2014 14:47

at least you were offered a lift? your boss is nicer than OP's by miles.

gobluemegan 1

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:05

Get a ride with someone else?

DavLynn 4

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:54

that's kinda hard when other people will probably be stuck too dontcha think?

zukinihudini 0

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Tuesday 20 December 2011 4:46

Three feet of snow? Dont want to sound like an asshole, but go grab a shovel and suck it up.

moat 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:05

I'm about to eat breakfast.

SirHobnobs 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:07

So put on a jacket, hat + scarf and walk? not much of an FML since she doesn't say where her work is or how far away.

Bobissmall 13

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:07

This.

youfailed18 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:07

That sucks. Bundle up.

Domo_Arigato7 3

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:07

The small town I live in never gets snow days for that reason

HesJustTheBest 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 19:08

Get a shovel and dig your bloody car out. Then get a piece of sheet metal or two pieces of plywood, weld/glue to your car to create a makeshift plow. Drive your ass to work, plow the parking lot there and get back to work instead of posting FML's.

newjerseyguy 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:17

rofl awesome response

TakeOneLastBreat_fml 0

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Tuesday 1 February 2011 20:31

you rock

mandy307 0

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Thursday 17 March 2011 21:12

@ #9 Um HELLO has no one seen 3 feet of snow before! I live in alberta and the only that is getting out of the drive way with three feet of snow is 4x4 Trucks. Shovelling would take so much time that by the time you got to work your shift would be over