Love: Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

By Anonymous - 01/03/2010 22:04 - United States

Today, a really hot guy smacked my ass. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 724

You deserved it 10 924

Father's Day: Daddy Chicken or Daddy Wet Hen?
Stories of extraordinary fathers, sometimes awkward but always hilarious. A family read! More…

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Same thing different taste

By sydneybourgeois - 13/08/2011 04:06 - United States

Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 510

You deserved it 16 142

By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 559

You deserved it 7 667

By ECullen - 21/05/2009 19:13 - United States

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 725

You deserved it 24 971

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 299

You deserved it 5 062

By couldntholdit - 12/07/2011 17:09 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy that I really like. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. It was glorious until I farted on his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 368

You deserved it 23 960

An attempt was made

By bubblewrap - 20/10/2015 10:13 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 771

You deserved it 11 915

By Stinky and Single - 06/08/2015 23:14 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a secluded corner of a coffee shop and felt extremely gassy. Thinking I'd be safe, I let out a pretty nasty smelling fart. Next thing I know, a cute guy is approaching me and asked my name, but all it took was for him to inhale once and he bolted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 756

You deserved it 6 674

By john - 28/01/2009 23:02 - United States

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 834

You deserved it 5 154

By Dramaqueenfornothing - 27/04/2016 22:32 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while being intimate with my future husband, I reached over to stroke his cheek. The light behind him cast a shadow over my chest, and it scared me so much, I screamed then I farted on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 345

You deserved it 2 811

By Wowsers. - 30/01/2010 08:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 801

You deserved it 35 997

JackRocksSoSuckI 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:01

lol haha that's funny

bustyboi 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 1:03

that blows!

Comments

wrestlerbeast 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:10

haha shoot I'll gangrape her do u not see that ass

DynamicDave 11

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:13

He liked it!

masterblaster39 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:21

Hope your farts don't have lumps!

bulll_crap 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:25

mouhahahaha lol lmao

Instanguy 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:27

I wish there was an epic button

saywaturcoco 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:33

wow loser that's perverted

heather_bunny 3

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:33

um, so, he deserved it, b/c men should not slap women's asses. F(his)L

Trixies100 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:39

haha I guess ur butt was shocked: )

clumsyjazzy 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:41

cochina! lol

afatmonkey 0

Tuesday 2 March 2010 4:42

Onlly be scared if one of their names is Jamal. Jamal will mess your shit up.

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Today, right before the most important final of my education, I got a text from my mom saying my house had burned to the ground, and my children were outside waiting for the firemen. I panicked, left school, and sped home… all for her to laugh and tell me it was “just a joke.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 760

You deserved it 69

If you want to be the next published artist, send an email to alice [at] fmylife.com including a link to your website/blog/DA. But DON'T send your illustration right away! You need first to get in touch with me, and I'll tell you what you have to do!...

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 4

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Today, I have a friend who forbids their kid from any sort of social media, internet, or way to communicate. Other than school, they have no social life. Yet, they seem happy and like life is amazing. My kid has all of it and I thought I was just being a good parent, but they are depressed as fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 891

Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 1 178

Today, I've become so accustomed to finding my sister drunk or otherwise passed out in the same spot in the living room that every time I go in there, I instinctively lift my feet higher as though to step over her, even when she's not there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 468

You deserved it 1 695

Today, at physical therapy, the girl next to me had a blue armband. I said, "Hey, sweet iPod". She said, "Actually, I have diabetes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 366

You deserved it 41 627

Today, I waved at a baby while standing in line in a store. It started screaming. Its mom looked over in mild concern and gave me a disturbed glare before moving to the next checkout counter over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 354

You deserved it 1 942

Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 185

You deserved it 192

Same thing different taste

An attempt was made

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