By anonymous - 15/01/2012 05:58 - United States

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 451
You deserved it 7 641

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Top comments

Well that stinks!

That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o

Comments

oh ...shit! i am eating...

You're really failing with these 1st comments, just stop.

Leave him alone, he can comment whatever he likes. He will only get thumbed down anyways.

What does eating have to do with this FML??

Teyyoshi's English isn't fantastic, but lots of people can't speak a second language at all. Sometimes the humour is lost in translation. :) I think he meant he was eating when he read this and laughed out his food or it came out his nose, something of that equivalent. That's what I got from that anyhow....

I'm eating too, what are you having? I am eating potato chips.

23- I'm also eating potato chips :D

19- I agree with you. From what I've gathered, he's learning a good part of his English on FML. People need to leave him alone. Keep it up teyyoshi! Your English is getting better by the day! ;)

Chick Above is hot

47- good thing too, with all these grammar Nazis! And guy above, creepy ha

There is no chick above you...

OP, he's probably feeling more embarrassed and awkward than you. It's a natural thing to fart :3 don't worry about it.

Well that stinks!

I see what you did thar...

you farting means you relieved tension, which means you liked it. he should realize that

Why did he grab your ass is my question. He's a crush, not a boyfriend. Or maybe it's just me. I personally would stop liking someone for doing that to me. It's disrespectful.

34 - He may know that she likes him, and it was his way of saying "I like you too".

Or she has a nice ass?

34 Understandable, but plenty of people are fine with this behaviour between close friends. The OP never mentioned how close they were.

Link5794 18

Maybe it was an accident.

No she grossed her crush out on purpose. Edit now i know what you meant my bad.

That's a very interesting way for him to be greeting you, especially if you're still just calling him your "crush"... O.o

Glad i'm not the only one that found the ass grabbing a little weird. Probably not the kinda guy you want to get involved with.

I really hate that meme

If he won't look you in the eye, wear sunglasses! Simple as that~

They're probably still burning, I wouldn't worry about it.

Aww, not even a sympathy fart to make you feel less embarrassed?

Only serious FML readers would fully understand this comment!

I get it! Very clever.

yea followed by a reassuring look lol

Very good, i think that was the funniest comment i've read. Congrats mate,

I get it.:) other FML references ftw!

Make sure you don't burp when he goes for a kiss...

or sneeze when he wants to rub noses

IF he ever goes for a kiss.

Aah! That's sucks! Did you ate onions?

ehem, its pronunced, 'did you EAT onions?' genuis -__-

Okay, 97. A) Genius*. B) That comment had nothing to do with pronunciation, they just used the wrong tense of the word. C) You forgot an apostrophe. Borrow it from the other comment's "that's". I don't mind when people correct others, it just drives me crazy when they do it wrong.

His a guy he think farts are funny. He will get over it.

How is it sexist if i'm a guy to??

Your ignorance drips off your comment in thick, syrupy drops. That's like saying black people can't be racist.

And for the record, it's too*.

Well, some guys would find that if someone farted on your hand its kinda nasty, just saying

dont listen to them

Well aren't you just a little stinker, poor guy was just trying to go in for an innocent ass grab, and you gas him...Love is a battlefield.

I tried to come up with a punnier and more-relevant-to-this-FML title for the song "Heartbreak Warfare", but it didn't work. But now that I've mentioned it, you can use your imagination.

22- Heartbreak Warfare... no, no, no..I think it has to be 'Modern Fartfare'

22- fartbreak warfare?

You fart when you get scared? Omfg thats so fucking hilarious hahhahaha

Oompa oompa..

That's the "fight or flight" response. Farting helps with either one. Fighting: The fart disorients your opponent, allowing you to get in the first blow. Flight: The fart is like an octopus ink, and the jet helps you move faster in your escape.