Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
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Top comments
tkdgold03 5
how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.
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Comments (142)
McMan 23
Someone should inform this man that it isn't Halloween nor April Fools'.
Jibblets2367 7
Looks like Fall all over again.…
THEDUCKGUY 2
now comes the part where you light him up with a flamethrower....
AnagenisisZagus 13
Yeah. Prison seems mighty fine this time of year.
fancyclown 9
I'm assuming you were frail, unsuspecting, unarmed, or otherwise unfit for such a haphazard assault. The perfect victim. Step your game up, bro.
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Yes, whenever I answer the door I put on my juggernaut suit, get my riot shield and tell my snipers to shoot if the stranger makes any sudden moves. Just staying safe.
Sericin 2
38 no I don't believe it either
heathz 9
And you didn't say thank you?!? Rude.
juliarawrawrawr_fml 0
Maybe he watched The Nightmare Before Christmas (so he got mixed up between the two), then decided to be a douchebag and find a random stranger to do that to... Well, I hope besides that, your Christmas went well. :)
MineIsBigger 5
FATALITY!!!!
chili_is_good 0
TEE HEE
Astroashton92 6
That's the way to go. Ever since buying my copy of "How to be a Ninja" I've avoided flaming leaves for years
bbedlock_fml 7
I hope nothing else caught fire!
docscientist 10
He has been waiting to do the trik of treat on you for 6 weeks.