Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML
Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML
Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
tkdgold03 5
how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..
IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9
Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
tilgare 2
Fyl, but I can't stop laughing.
NoobyNed 4
Btw ppl, thanks for all the support, and I'm the OP who wrote this FML. The reason I didn't do it on my account was because I thought the FML staff hated my nickname. Anywho, after the guy threw leaves at me, he stood there laughing while I got a fire extinguisher. After I put out my burning door rug, I hit him with the fire extinguisher.
blackjewels 2
Call the police
Jasonf6 0
Chase the ***** down and **** him next time
crazyarsedfly 14
Bloody bastard. Call the police indeed.
morganlee 7
Press charges!!!!! ******* mother ******!
Astroashton92 6
Good thing he was not a very eccentric version of your boss eh?
needsagf14 12
On Christmas?
SAGARCo 19
Run after him and tell him he dropped something and give it back to him.