Today, after over a dozen separate blood tests, my doctor told me conclusively that my results are perfectly normal for a middle-aged woman in the early stages of pregnancy. Problem is, I’m a 24-year-old guy, so my doctor is very concerned. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML
Today, my doctor told me I'm pregnant. Since we've been trying for several years, I called my husband to tell him the good news. Not long after, my doctor called to inform me there'd been a clerical mix-up and I'm not actually pregnant after all. FML
Today, I was ecstatic that the pregnancy test I took was negative. I went to high-five my boyfriend as I told him the good news. Apparently, it’s monstrous, unladylike and weird for a woman to not want children. When I pointed out he doesn’t want kids either, he said, "That’s normal for guys." FML
Today, my doctor informed me I was a fascinating patient. Why? I have "more health issues than a patient my age should." I'm 26. FML
Today, I had a doctor's appointment and my doctor had to examine my abdomen. I'm generally a pretty fit woman. After touching my abdomen, my doctor called me "the perfect specimen" and asked me if I was single because his son is also single. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the tests we've been doing the previous months show no sign of leukemia. I was just about to express my relief when he casually followed up with, "Never mind, there's still a lot of other blood-related diseases we need to look out for." FML
Today, while at my doctor's appointment, all my male doctor did was talk about my weight gain. I tried explaining that I eat healthy and work out, and I’m currently 6 months pregnant with my first child, and have always struggled with body image. It makes me want to develop an eating disorder. FML
Today, after a trip to see my doctor, I found out that my recent mood swings and hot flashes are the result of a hormonal imbalance that mimics the effects of menopause. I'm a 17 year-old guy. FML
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Top comments
Lily_Rain77 25
my boyfriend has similar results, turned out is was testicular cancer that had spread and turned into a very large tumor in his abdomen. Coincidentally the tumor was the size of a large baby
rotflqtms_ 21
Are you sure you're 100% a guy? I've heard of times where parents were made to choose when their child was born with both sex organs... I'm not saying that's what's happening in your case... but it's possible that you have both Male and female organs. Some hermaphrodites are fertile, some are sterile, but... you may want to look into that in your case... maybe you have partial organs for both genders, maybe your hormones are out of whack for some strange reason making you look pregnant... good luck!
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Comments (6)
rotflqtms_ 21
Are you sure you're 100% a guy? I've heard of times where parents were made to choose when their child was born with both sex organs... I'm not saying that's what's happening in your case... but it's possible that you have both Male and female organs. Some hermaphrodites are fertile, some are sterile, but... you may want to look into that in your case... maybe you have partial organs for both genders, maybe your hormones are out of whack for some strange reason making you look pregnant... good luck!
Lily_Rain77 25
my boyfriend has similar results, turned out is was testicular cancer that had spread and turned into a very large tumor in his abdomen. Coincidentally the tumor was the size of a large baby
acmariner99 25
Either we are missing something or you need to get that checked out.
jriley4u 17
I’ve read a positive pregnancy test is also an indicator of cancer. I’d talk to another doctor if I were you. It’s strange your doctor doesn’t know this.
alycion 39
You’d be surprised what they don’t know. It’s my psychiatrist and therapist unraveling the medical meds that even the Mayo Clinic couldn’t figure out. Hell, my rheumatologist keeps changing my lupus diagnosis on me and then going right back. It takes a team to diagnose a cold these days.
Wadlaen 24
I would be too...
IHaveThePower 18
Well, friend, get ready to CAT-scan everything from the waist down... (Count yourself lucky. If you've got a ******, they can do a 'trans-vaginal ultrasound', which is basically a medical *****. It is painful as hell. Especially when they can't find your left ovary and start shoving into your pelvic bone...you just get a CAT-scan...)