Miscellaneous: Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 984

You deserved it 2 763

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 032

You deserved it 5 248

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 994

You deserved it 2 884

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 532

You deserved it 7 391

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 1 340

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 2 643

By trickortreat - 01/11/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 577

You deserved it 5 089

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 419

You deserved it 4 056

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 823

You deserved it 1 852

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 207

You deserved it 2 379

A bunch of ghosts did it!

By Anonymous - 26/10/2023 00:02

Today, I spent hours decorating my front yard for Halloween. When I stepped back to admire my work, the wind blew all the decorations into my neighbor's yard. Of course, they're currently away on a long vacation and I can't get to my stuff, so… you're welcome, I guess! FML

I agree, your life sucks 418

You deserved it 473

tkdgold03 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:04

how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..

IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:10

Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.

Comments

1221jamw 11

Monday 26 December 2011 8:12

Find who it was, and rent a chuck Norris beard. Then you should probably call the cops or something.

cute_cherry1313 1

Monday 26 December 2011 9:20

Y would he need a chuck norris beard??? I dont get it...

ihavenosoul 4

Monday 26 December 2011 9:47

Why wouldn't you need a Chuck Norris beard?

1221jamw 11

Monday 26 December 2011 17:48

60- Talk to 74. He's got it all figured out.

broken_red_wagon 6

Monday 26 December 2011 8:13

Whoever said that you deserved it probably was the jackass that threw fire at you.

jworret 0

Monday 26 December 2011 8:13

What a douche! Not meaning to be racist but that sounds like something a white kid trying to show off would do haha.

Jewnut 0

Monday 26 December 2011 8:15

Yep, thats why I dont answer my door

cute_cherry1313 1

Monday 26 December 2011 9:18

take ur meds :D it'll help with anxiety

nashster2 1

Monday 26 December 2011 8:17

Was he hot? Ha get it cuz leaves were on fire

YourBuddyElmo 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:24

@19 - santa didn't bring you any funny this Christmas?

lindseykcool 6

Monday 26 December 2011 17:07

19, you're dumb. Ha, get it!? Cause you're dumb.

Chad_the_Brony 0

Tuesday 27 December 2011 10:18

Are you pathetic? Get it? Because your comment was unoriginal.

BigSlingin 0

Monday 26 December 2011 8:25

Wtf. That's why you stay away from meth.

roseXthorns 8

Monday 26 December 2011 8:26

Did you tell him 'Merry Christmas' on Halloween?

MineIsBigger 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:37

i bet he threw ice cubes at him if he did!

Liimitless 6

Monday 26 December 2011 8:35

I hope you gave him the candy he wanted so badly.

jsm007 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:41

Damn that's a classic! Never thought of that one before!

ImmenseCabbage 0

Monday 26 December 2011 8:47

Then I guess it's not classic, is it? *zing*

coleman132002 2

Monday 26 December 2011 8:41

Am I the only one not believing this?

Keywords

Love Awkward Work Relatable Students Racism Health Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Sex Intimacy Revenge Food Animals Cats Boredom Management Sexism Parenting Kids Parents Miscellaneous Weird Job interview Jealousy Social Media

The Top

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 546

The Top

Today, I had an important test at 7 in the morning, so I sat the alarm at 6 o'clock and fell asleep. Later I was woken up by a call from my friend asking me why I didn't show up for the test. It was 9:30. I'd sat the alarm at 6:00 PM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 667

You deserved it 548

Today, I found out that instead of going on a date with a girl I've liked for months, I'm going to be forced to have lunch with my grandmother tomorrow. Instead of losing my virginity, I will get to be interrogated about why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 724

You deserved it 7 302

Today, I photocopied several hundred pages of my school's textbook because I didn't want to buy it. My school later says to just buy it and it will be reimbursed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 859

You deserved it 33 966

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 316

You deserved it 4 498

Today, my cat jumped on my shoulders, but stepped in my hood and choked me and when I panicked she dug her claws into my shoulders. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 143

You deserved it 495

Today, I apparently I created a group chat with the four guys I saw any potential with, ruining every single one of the possible future relationships all at once because they now know about each other. I give up on dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 830

Same thing different taste

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

Rightly so

A bunch of ghosts did it!

Top comments

Comments