Work: Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably... - FML

By Badatlife - 23/06/2014 16:19 - Australia - Kellyville

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 795

You deserved it 4 616

Own it

Money, well, get back, I'm alright Jack…

Furry family

By Anonymous - 17/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was brutally tackled and detained by a group of people until the police arrived, because I fit the description of a wanted criminal who was featured on the news. This isn't the first time this has happened, and no style change I've tried has been able to avert it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 678

You deserved it 222

By creepermagnet - 10/10/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I rear-ended a car on the parkway. We pulled over, the guy told me his car was fine, and then asked me out on a date. It was only when I replied "no" that he decided he wanted his car fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 858

You deserved it 18 806

What a tit

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 10:59 - United States - Farmingdale

Today, I stabbed myself in the nipple with scissors trying to cut an opening in the supposedly hands-free pumping bra I just bought. I breastfeed my 5-day-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 295

By Lapis - 20/12/2009 19:42 - United States

Today, I woke up to a quite frigid room, which wasn't out of the ordinary since my building's heat is broken. But I realized that the extra cold I was feeling was due to the snow piled up on my bed. It had snowed 20 inches last night. My mom had apparently opened my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 884

You deserved it 2 865

Our House

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 11:01

Today, I found out I have another leak in my house. I've had three inspections and they were all shit. At this point, that pipe is the only remaining original pipe in the entire house. Over 25k have officially gone into this BS. Note to all: go "new." FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 108

By StockedWithJuice - 06/07/2013 15:14 - United States - Austin

Today, I found out that my 16-year-old son bought a huge amount of grape juice, because he thought he could store it under his bed and wait for it to turn to wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 698

You deserved it 5 316

By Explicit - 13/01/2009 18:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 415

You deserved it 3 183

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, I went caroling with some family friends. We got pelted with oranges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 500

You deserved it 23 244

By Anonymous - 23/11/2011 09:36 - United States

Today, my gynecologist told me that the ecosystem in my vagina is unbalanced, and that I have to do some reconstruction. Uhm what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 531

You deserved it 5 168

By kebaby - 19/06/2010 23:19 - United States

Today, I spent a long time steam-cleaning a mystery stain on my living room carpet. I turned the light on to get a better look at it, and realized that it was a shadow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 918

You deserved it 48 103

By Dumped - 30/03/2019 20:00

Today my boyfriend of one year dumped me. When I started crying, he said, “want to know something that will make you hate me so you won’t be so sad?” and then told me he’s been cheating on me with multiple women, the entire time we’ve been dating. He thought that would comfort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 467

You deserved it 177

Chill out, man!

By Marcowalker95 - 07/08/2012 04:16 - United States - Panorama City

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 597

You deserved it 7 064

By Trimacle - 24/08/2011 06:32 - United States

Today, I went to the House of Horrors at Universal Studios. People dressed up as monsters would jump at us, and I was so freaked out that I tripped. My equally terrified mom fell on top of me. Frankenstein's monster was nice enough to ask us if we were alright. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 506

You deserved it 15 788

By Anonymous - 11/06/2012 12:42 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 074

You deserved it 46 052

By anon - 17/12/2015 18:45

Today, I had to explain to someone in my class who Gandhi really was and that he was not a fictional goblin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 581

You deserved it 1 630

By Water Daughter - 13/10/2013 05:51 - United States

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 145

You deserved it 4 513

By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 02:56 - United States

Today, I was trying on dresses in a stall that requires an employee of the store to have a key to open. After I took off one dress to go to another, an employee quickly opens my door, to give the stall to someone else. The entire store could see me in my granny panties and bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 975

You deserved it 6 516

Too much feeling!

By buckerooo - 03/12/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting frisky when we decide to try the old 69. One thing leads to another when her clit ring went deep into my nose, and leaving me feeling like the wrong kind of bull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 865

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 17:30

Today, my mother-in-law flushed my pain medicine because she believes I’ve been using it too long and I’m addicted. I had surgery four days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 698

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 22/03/2012 14:59 - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 913

You deserved it 9 756

By Nathanael Johnson - 04/08/2019 08:00 - Australia

Today, after a fun movie night, I found a note on my fridge saying, “It was delicious.” I don’t know what it is referring to, since nothing is missing and we didn’t eat anything during the movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 345

You deserved it 101

By Fiancé problemsss - 05/01/2014 07:11 - United States - Billings

Today, despite all of the pictures and proof of my fiancé, my parents still think I have an imaginary boyfriend. They met him, and were there when he proposed. They think it's all a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 680

You deserved it 4 342

By Ricky - 09/03/2009 00:00 - Canada

Today, I was working at Old Navy. A girl came up to me and did a bizarre dance. Not knowing how to react, I imitated her to be friendly with the customer. Then she stopped cold. Her friend stormed up to me and yelled, "you jerk! Why are you mocking her? She has tourettes you know!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 019

You deserved it 40 771

By Confused lesbian - 16/07/2018 13:30 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 398

You deserved it 281

By echolaker2019 - 11/04/2016 03:57 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, I had a second date with a really hot guy I met at the mall. Lucky for me, I went into anaphylactic shock from shrimp and the guy called my parents. When I left the hospital, I was notified that after he called my parents, he ordered more food and charged it to my credit card on file. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 771

You deserved it 1 616

By Anonymous - 30/04/2014 21:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 468

You deserved it 5 493

Hurry up

By lauren_rox - 08/11/2009 17:50 - Canada

Today, I was waiting at home for a phone call. While I was in the bathroom, the phone rang. I quickly stopped my business and ran out of the bathroom with my pants round my ankles. I leaped over the couch, tripping and then stubbing my toe while hopping to the phone. It was a telemarketer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 368

You deserved it 13 665

By BirthdayBoy - 25/09/2009 14:54 - United States

Today, I invited over my girlfriend of two years to spend my birthday night with her. Instead of a conventional wrapped birthday present, she gave me the news that she has taken a vow of chastity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 862

You deserved it 7 286

By Anonymous - 07/07/2014 01:27 - United States - Sandston

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 675

You deserved it 5 612

By Forgotton - 01/08/2009 23:10 - Canada

Today, I realized how invisible/forgettable I am. At work, I went to ask my supervisor what I was working on today. My supervisor admitted that he forgot I was working today. My supervisor is my brother. We drove to work together this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 704

You deserved it 3 334

By anonymous - 22/10/2014 02:11 - United States - Levittown

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 399

You deserved it 4 401

By Anonymous - 14/01/2015 01:50 - United States - Wilmington

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 534

You deserved it 5 794

By Anothermoose - 26/05/2014 03:34 - United States - Victorville

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Turns out that bouncers don't think it's a problem for girls to go up on stage and make out with the musicians. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 883

You deserved it 5 824

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 20:02

Today, I went to a seminar about non-prejudice and acceptance. I spent the whole time being made fun of because of my pink shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 212

By Waterfalls - 07/10/2014 11:33 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 207

You deserved it 10 621

By bluewinter - 23/05/2009 10:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sister's friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 054

You deserved it 9 685

By lifeofamusicteacher - 08/12/2016 01:22 - Hong Kong

Today, I got yelled at by parents of one of my students because their child didn't perform well at their Winter Concert. These are the same parents who told me months ago that I needed to be more lenient by allowing their kids to skip rehearsals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 126

You deserved it 565

Damned freshmen

By CRC - 23/11/2011 15:38 - United States

Today, a freshman set off the fire alarm in my dorm at 2 a.m. He tried to microwave Easy Mac without adding water. I had to stand outside for 45 minutes while the firemen moved the noodles to the sink and ran cold water over them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 233

You deserved it 2 412

By Clueless - 14/05/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to my phone company and had my text history pulled. Why? Because a few days ago my 4 year old daughter told me that, "Daddy has a wife and a girlfriend." Turns out she was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 715

You deserved it 4 382

Desperate

By Anonymous - 23/03/2021 14:01 - Luxembourg - Luxembourg

Today, I tried to find a job. Again. It's been seven years since I earned more than 70€ in a month, seven years since I moved back in with my parents, and seven years since I was registered as having a medical disability. Nobody wants me, not even as a shelf stacker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 76

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:54

People need to think before they speak...

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:56

That is NOT something you just assume about people. I'm sorry. :(

Comments

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:54

People need to think before they speak...

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Monday 23 June 2014 23:23

I agree. I get the feeling this guy doesn't know exactly what Austism is.

ChristianH39 30

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Monday 23 June 2014 23:45

I get the feeling this guy just shouldn't speak

sayyestothedress 24

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 2:12

#25 what does autism mean?

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 2:59

Why don't you just google it instead duh!

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 2:59

he did think before he spoke.....he just thought wrong. ......

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 7:38

this probably means that some people should neither speak not think.

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 22:15

Nah because then we won't have anyone to laugh at when they do stupid stuff.

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Wednesday 25 June 2014 4:00

Some people shouldn't BE.

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 7:58

Jup

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:54

Why would he bother assume it?

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 10:17

Typed that a bit fast didn't ya?

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 13:19

Piss off you twat.Replying to all my comments you look like a stalker

Monday 23 June 2014 22:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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Monday 23 June 2014 23:06

Just... No.

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 5:09

You're an idiot. Clearly you don't know what autism is.

gabbywalliscool 5

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Thursday 26 June 2014 5:01

Ha

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:55

Fyl he's a jackass for assuming something like that. Sorry op

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:56

That is NOT something you just assume about people. I'm sorry. :(

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 0:07

That and pregnancy.

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 3:15

The biggest problem I have with this FML is not his awful assumption. It's the fact that even if OP had been autistic it would not have been ok to make that kind of comment. Autism can be a very debilitating condition and if a person effected by this can hold a job and interact with people, they should be encouraged, not ridiculed.

STEALTHHUNTER88 13

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 3:51

My sister has Asperger's. I would be absolutely furious is someone said that to her, much less me.

jmcr 27

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 6:02

I have Aspergers and that comment pissed me off. I worked at a small Italian restaurant as a phone girl and waitress before becoming a busser at a high en restaurant. It doesnt stop us from interacting with ppl. We just have to learn differently to do it

pitapizzaparty 18

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 6:47

My P.E teacher had a pregnant belly for 10 months so i finally asked her whens it due and she said she wasnt pregnant :( idk made a mistake

silverstream20 20

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 10:23

My brother also has Aspergers and people have intact said that to him even with me around. Needless to say I get very angry when people do it. Shows such ignorance.

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:56

Certain people would contribute more to society if they never talked. I do of course mean those who assume people have autism.

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 15:29

"Today, a coworker of mine told me I shouldn't deal with customers as I am an asshole, wrongly assuming that they have autism." If only.

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:56

How would he not know that for sure?

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 7:59

Yes

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:56

just act autistic every time it's just the two of you but normal around everyone else

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 1:35

If I may ask, what exactly would this solve? Anyway, I got the feeling that OP's co-worker should be the one not working with people because he seems a little insensitive and judgmental. But if he was a customer, he's just an asshole.

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Tuesday 24 June 2014 5:13

#8 act autistic? isnt that also like making fun of someone for being a certain way? you suck

wolfheartmoon 12

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Thursday 26 June 2014 23:44

You can't "act autistic" you idiot. Look up what autism is, and you'll see it's a VERY VERY VERY wide range of behaviors.

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Wednesday 4 February 2015 8:01

...

lifa 16

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:57

That sucks. I'm sorry.

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Monday 23 June 2014 22:57

Should've told him he shouldn't be allowed to interact with people because of his mental disease he clearly has.

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Monday 23 June 2014 23:22

Oh you mean Asshole-Jackass Syndrome?

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Monday 23 June 2014 23:28

Or Asshole-Assumer Syndrome, however this is a more specific "subdisease" of Asshole-Jackass Syndrome.

Nearly

Today, I was diagnosed with anorexia. My mother still keeps on calling me a fat fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 3

Today, I found out my mother listens to my therapy sessions. She’s the reason I need therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23

You deserved it 1

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my college fuck buddy started sending my wife our dirty chat logs. Not only have I not spoken to her in years, but the logs are time/date stamped from when Obama was still President. She's never met my wife and I have no idea what she hopes to get out of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 902

You deserved it 120

Today, I’d been bicurious for years but always much too shy to seek out a woman to attempt intimacy. Well, I finally hooked up with a girl I’ve had a crush on for a while. Not only was it an amazing, mind-blowing experience, she also left me with a crotch searing yeast infection from hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 295