Second class citizen - FML

Nearly

01/10/2021 22:55

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 3

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 6

Spicy

Spicy

Lightning Bolt

By LightningRod - 18/10/2021 11:00

Spicy

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 46

Weird flex, but OK

By Anonymous - 17/10/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I’m aware that comparing yourself too much to other people can make you unhappy. I now learned that the same goes for comparing yourself to objects. For example, between myself and the shared toilet in my student house, guess who has the most pubic hair? FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 138

Second class citizen

By Anonymous - 14/09/2020 13:01

Today, I got told I am not a good fit for a company because I'm disabled. But that's OK, I can volunteer for the same role, as I don't really need to work anyway, because I'm disabled apparently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 534

You deserved it 361

Mama's boy

There's no helping some people

Cujo, but for cats

11/06/2011 22:36

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 196

You deserved it 7 291

Ripped off

By Anonymous - 07/10/2020 02:02

Today, I rented a house for 5 years with my girlfriend, only to find out she is the actual owner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 427

You deserved it 206

21/10/2014 15:37

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 137

You deserved it 2 815

14/02/2011 20:25

Today, I woke up to a good friend of mine leaving my bed. The very friend I've had a crush on for months, and knows exactly how I feel about him. Everything was great until he said, "Yeah, about last night... It's just that you were there, and I was weak. See ya." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 793

You deserved it 7 225

02/03/2011 15:28

Today, my boss lectured me on the evils of alcohol and how it was 'prohibited' during the 1980s. I said nothing because he hates being corrected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 895

You deserved it 3 990

13/12/2012 12:37

Today, while my mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 495

You deserved it 2 280

15/01/2010 08:33

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 114

You deserved it 4 132

13/01/2016 18:30

Spicy

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 767

You deserved it 6 987

06/11/2012 18:34

Today, after being a germaphobe for almost ten years and refusing to go out to restaurants because of it, I finally had the courage to face my fear, and went to dinner with my family. After three bites into my salad, I found a dead bug in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 082

You deserved it 3 391

13/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was trying on bras in a shop when a little kid stuck their head under my stall. I was completely topless and completely surprised when they asked if I was their mommy. I'm 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 159

16/10/2015 17:12

Today, four days after moving into my new house, I woke up to a guy yelling "Fuck you, Claire" followed by a brick smashing through my living room window. Now I know why Claire was so eager to finalize the sale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 235

You deserved it 1 557

25/10/2010 08:28

Spicy

Today, I woke up and had a flick through my camera photos. To my disgust my mother had taken pictures of herself, drunk out of her mind, naked with goggles on in our hot tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 369

You deserved it 2 856

14/05/2013 22:41

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 604

You deserved it 3 625

17/01/2016 13:59

Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 815

You deserved it 2 254

That he's a dumbass?

By Anonymous - 01/06/2020 05:03

Today, I was told by my boyfriend of 12 years that he wants to break up. He wants to be free to follow his "MGTOW beliefs." I had to look up what it meant. What am I supposed to tell our 2 little boys? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 571

You deserved it 203

18/02/2009 02:52

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 727

You deserved it 3 665

09/05/2012 01:59

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 011

You deserved it 9 548

08/07/2019 18:00

Today, I talked to my husband about leaving his parents' house. He said, and I quote, ''No. I don't want the responsibility of paying bills.'' FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 608

28/04/2016 02:22

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 301

You deserved it 1 284

The truth

By vmml97 - 17/08/2009 21:16

Today, my boss called me into his office. He then fired me. Upset, I asked him, "Well, who's gonna replace me?" His answer was, "I don't know and don't care. Everyone who works here hates you. Now go away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 806

You deserved it 25 300

14/01/2010 06:45

Today, after 8 years, I confessed one of my best friends I've been in love with him since we were kiddies. His answer was "Don't worry, I won't stop talking to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 922

You deserved it 4 127

04/12/2011 01:29

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while placing her order. I work as a Drive-Thru cashier at McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 441

You deserved it 5 197

10/05/2015 22:08

Today, I planned a lunch out with my mom for Mother's Day. She seemed excited about it and "couldn't wait!" She never showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 2 063

14/07/2009 21:10

Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 525

You deserved it 9 084

24/06/2009 06:44

Today, my friend decided to come clean to his parents about his pot usage. He told them that he did it with me on many occasions. His parents decided it would be the right thing to call my parents. Thanks a lot asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 548

You deserved it 66 392

09/01/2014 21:48

Spicy

Today, my mom tried giving me the sex talk. Her version of "the talk" consisted of making me watch videos of guys jacking off and reassuring me that "it's natural." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 550

You deserved it 5 179

22/08/2010 17:02

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. According to his Facebook, he had a new girlfriend 16 seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 847

You deserved it 3 496

15/09/2009 23:39

Today, at my cashier job, I got written up for accepting obviously photocopied coupons. Last week, I got written up for "inadequate customer service" because I refused to accept the same bogus coupons from the same customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 546

You deserved it 2 418

06/02/2014 06:57

Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 957

You deserved it 8 221

30/04/2017 20:00

Today, my husband put "sexual favors" on the memo line for my contractor's check. His wife saw it and he had to quit mid-job. I'm stuck with a half-finished house and my husband thinks it's funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 481

You deserved it 521

Distant

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 00:01

Today, when my husband told me years ago he wanted to parent just like his dad used to, I had no idea that meant helping with practical stuff like cooking and nappy changing, but otherwise ignoring our kid's emotional well-being and telling them to buzz off when they try to talk to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 112

06/05/2012 21:57

Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 348

You deserved it 4 305

Ad break

By Remy - 17/06/2021 16:01

Today, I had the brilliant idea of scanning my PC in the afternoon, because Malwarebytes told me I might have malware and it's been running hot and slow lately. Five and a half hours later, the scan is 1.3% complete. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 147

Roll with it

By anon - 17/09/2019 22:00

Today, my boyfriend encouragingly told me that he could tell I was losing weight, all because I had one roll fewer than usual on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 276

22/01/2011 01:27

Spicy

Today, I found out I have a huge infected boil on my vagina. The worst part was that I wasn't the one to discover this. My boyfriend was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 311

You deserved it 9 901

06/08/2012 22:08

Today, I had to scream for my dad to come help me, after I got my hair caught in a fan while trying to make the Darth Vader voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 964

You deserved it 35 030

25/01/2010 15:27

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 237

You deserved it 3 226

22/08/2013 04:40

Today, I was playing Charades with my boyfriend's family. When it was his turn, he pointed at me. His mother said "Bitch?" The answer was "relationship". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 707

You deserved it 4 325

15/05/2009 15:14

Today, in my art class we had to paint a nude portrait of a fat, old woman. About halfway through the piece, and while painting her fat rolls, I realized she was the only person other than myself I had ever seen naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 7 758

21/04/2011 05:28

Today, I noticed this guy crying in the park. I went up to him to see what was wrong. Apparently his girlfriend broke up with him, and he also said he wanted to kill himself. My first response was "Don't, you'll regret it later in life". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 993

You deserved it 13 763

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Top comments

Charlie Given 24

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Monday 14 September 2020 14:55

And that's called discrimination based on disability find out in your area who you report that shit to and you could even get a lawyer as well

I can't stand leg puns! 22

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Monday 14 September 2020 15:33

OP is UK based. It is very very very illegal here. You can definitely seek legal action.

Comments

Charlie Given 24

Send a private message

Monday 14 September 2020 14:55

And that's called discrimination based on disability find out in your area who you report that shit to and you could even get a lawyer as well

Send a private message

Monday 14 September 2020 15:14

If you're in the states that's illegal. Report them abd file a grievance with the EEOC. Speak with an employment attorney who takes cases on a contingency basis.

I can't stand leg puns! 22

Send a private message

Monday 14 September 2020 15:33

OP is UK based. It is very very very illegal here. You can definitely seek legal action.

millsjoshua949 12

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Monday 14 September 2020 23:28

I'm pretty sure that kind of discrimination is against the law.

Rusty Armstrong 13

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Thursday 17 September 2020 0:55

ADA Americans with disabilities act. sounds like you have a good lawsuit