TriangularBanana
Cypress, United States
Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Shortround
Wheaton, United States
Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML
thanksmom
United States
Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML
gunnerdog
Galveston, United States
Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML
Annoyed
Panama City Beach, United States
Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML
whaaaaat111
Vienna, United States
Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML
KiloLima01
Australia
Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML
tannerrosetx_1
Irving, United States
Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML
seththing
Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML
Chedder
United States
Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML
Top comments
BloodyBrilliant 15
Sounds like a marriage material.
trucker2 33
Shouldn't be picking up women so close to the prison area
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Comments (47)
BobTheOctopuss 3
You must have forgot to tip. Ladies of the night aren't as forgiving as waiters...
KungFuJack3 16
How are you still alive?...
whysobeachy 37
I know, right? Last time I lost my keys, I died. :(
Darkness_Hate 29
You got f*cked but not literraly. Fyl.
False_Stupidity 42
Well, maybe he did get ****** literally... we don't know for sure!
trucker2 33
She must not have liked your car.... She didn't take that
MasterTron 24
Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel She took my heart and she took my money she must've slipped me a sleeping pill
kindled_spirit 2
a story as old as time...
jeffprobs 29
"The hammer of justice is unisex!"-Batman
sixsevenoh 6
love hurts
hazzer_fml 9
Sounds like a keeper ??
ThirteenThirteen 27
You make it sound like she literally tore out your heart and then took the rest of your belongings for kicks.