By SwAGkiLlS - 15/07/2012 15:12 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 916
You deserved it 5 054

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Top comments

mbusey 20

That's cool! Now you can tell her secretly when you want sex

trippythehippy 6

Tell her you want to RAWR her meow


mbusey 20

That's cool! Now you can tell her secretly when you want sex

Rawr means i love you in dinosaur language.

boxbrandon11 20

Maybe she wants to prepare you for the sex noises she makes

5- Have you ever seen the Jurassic films? Rawr means run for your life bitch

Blackmail111 9

Oh how original! Using 9GAG memes.

Oh how original! Being a douche over the internet!

Great... I look like a douche now cause the "Oh how original! using a 9gag meme" comment was removed/changed...

I found pounding my chest and hooting like a gorilla works well.

5- Haven't you seen Jurassic Park? It means "I'm going to fucking EAT you!!"


Blackmail111 9

I'm not being a douche on the internet. Using 9GAG memes for comments is just stupid and unoriginal.

What? Dafuq is 9 gag?

OP tell her you wanna do it doggy-style ;)

107 - OP could bark to tell her that!

51-i looked at your profile and then read the comment in a squeaky voice xD haha "brohoof" Filly forever!

I secretly want to have sex with the guy in your profile picture.


Crap, didn't notice 13's comment when I wrote mine. I just commented right when I saw 5's. Didn't mean to copy 13. :p

mbusey 20

124 - I not so secretly want to have sex with him

At least she's different.. Maybe you could have some fun with this too..

Right? It could help in awkward situations, when OP has to meet the parents, and when you want to leave a public event and not let anyone hear.



46) Excuse me, bitch?

Well... we all know 46 is gonna get moderated.

Yeah. It the animal noise thing could sound weird. Why doesn't OP and his girlfriend just learn clingon and be done with it. You only have to worry about people speaking that at comicon

Agree 2, this essentially says "Today, my girlfriend didn't want to fuck me when I was expecting her to. FML"...You don't deserve this OP, she sounds like an interesting person and all you're looking for is a blow up doll. FYL for being in a relationship with a real person.

I'm sorry, but op's girl is wierd as hell

daisiebud 18

The animal noises are weird, but I've always thought a secret language would be fun. Though, really, they should just try french or something -__-

Use it when you want to have sex

icrest80 4

Ya like you could bark when you want to go doggy style

And Neigh for cowgirl

Now you have your own special safety word, in a new language.

trippythehippy 6

Tell her you want to RAWR her meow

Well said my good man

trippythehippy 6


I like your green stop sign :3

unique. I like her!

fernclogger 5

What would you call the language? Beast?

xXxIracebethxXx 14

Bestiality? ;o

Whoa whoa whoa who said anything about.....

This is the reason I'm still a virgin. Every time I come on to a guy, they're like, "Sorry, I can't fuck a chipmunk! it's bestiality!" I'm going to start taking them by force. Chipmunk force.

alliewillie 22

Sounds like you need to give the whole chipmunk persona a rest. It's not working out.

KommanderKush420 5

57- Im sure thats why

ThisIsJoee 4

Not sure if kinky, or just plain weird

Or if she's twelve D:

jake3292 5

It's a combination of both

78- your picture is disturbing O.o

hockeyoceancity 13

82- Yours is.. cute?

Your girlfriend sounds awesome! Go along with it, secret languages are cool.

MindFreakazoid 10

Woof woof meow glub neigh.

49- Couldn't have said it better. Oink moo arf!

jake3292 5

#49 how dare you insult my mother like that

What animal goes glub?

jake3292 5

A fish

MindFreakazoid 10

85- You're a busy student (says your bio) but you don't know animal sounds? That's interesting.

97- I know, right? I mean, who hasn't taken animal noises 101? Gosh, these people are so uneducated. -_- (for those of you who don't know, this was sarcasm)

The sound of a puppy begging should be the booty call.