By SwAGkiLlS - United States - Milwaukee
Today, my girlfriend said that we should try something new. I got excited because I thought it would be about sex. Nope, she wanted me to start speaking with animal noises so we could build up a secret language. FML
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  onlychildFTW  |  33

Yeah. It the animal noise thing could sound weird. Why doesn't OP and his girlfriend just learn clingon and be done with it. You only have to worry about people speaking that at comicon

  downtime  |  12

Agree 2, this essentially says "Today, my girlfriend didn't want to fuck me when I was expecting her to. FML"...You don't deserve this OP, she sounds like an interesting person and all you're looking for is a blow up doll. FYL for being in a relationship with a real person.


This is the reason I'm still a virgin.
Every time I come on to a guy, they're like, "Sorry, I can't fuck a chipmunk! it's bestiality!"

I'm going to start taking them by force.
Chipmunk force.