Today, I was walking through my town when a man on a bicycle rolled up to me and said, "I don't mean this offensively but you're really well-built." I don't know whether he was commenting on my height or comparing me to a shed, but my mother won't stop laughing. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, some guy on a bike kept taunting me about my weight while I was out jogging. He ended up hitting a street lamp and fell off his bike. I had a real good laugh at him for all of 5 seconds before he got mad and really made me run. FML
Today, I was out shopping with my mom. While we were walking, a guy in a car honked at me. I'm not used to compliments, so I was pretty flattered and flashed him a smile. He looked back at me, confused, then shook his head and pointed at my mom. FML
Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. I was thinking about how proud of myself I was for losing 34 pounds when someone yelled from a car window, "Look at that fat lump!" FML
Today, I complimented my mom with "Hey, I think you lost some weight." She replied with "Yeah, I think you found it." FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, a cute guy complimented me on my legs. I, being the awkward person that I am, panicked and replied, "Thanks, I grew them myself." FML
Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 35
I wouldn't take a fence if I were you.
perdix 29
Sounds like a . . . *lowers sunglasses* sheddy situation.
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Comments (83)
dontpanic_fml 32
"Built" refers to musculature. Perhaps it's not as widely used in the UK but it is quite a common term here. You were not being compared to a shed; it was a compliment. Maybe a bit skeezy, but nevertheless a compliment.
Ki11erC 18
Used the same here, even know the area OP lives and its def used there.
dontpanic_fml 32
I thought it would be; I am so baffled by the OP's concluding that the person must be talking about her height or a shed that I'm taking shots in the dark.
perdix 29
Usually, that means you've either got big **** or a nice ass, or both (ftw!) What bizarre dialect of English do you speak where the ambiguity is between height and a shed?
junkman6 22
I think her mother is actually laughing at her for being a total ditz and not understand the term. OP do your friends laugh at alot aroubd you and do you not know why?
junkman6 22
I have no clue what happened to that second sentence. Autocorrect?
Reaper1984 13
that was random... maybe hes a little nuts op
perdix 29
What could be offensive about that? I store my tools in a shed . . . oh, wait!
RedPillSucks 31
I'm sure the dude wanted to store his tool in her shed.
Jenn50 19
He was admiring your physical form. I give him props for offering a compliment without being vulgar, and I'm not sure how this is an FML?
Sinkhole 26
He must have thought you looked like you had some good screws.
amifaiyaz 12
you're either muscular or have great t&a, neither is particularly bad. :)
RedPillSucks 31
She a brick- hause. She mighty mighty just lettin it all hang out
tarickman 13
Sad that song was going through my head as well
Enslaved 36
Damn RPS! I was thinking the same thing!
honestjane 22
Complete with horn section.
mkcherry 14
It just means you have a really nice shape, you're probably really athletic? Or at least you look like it!
kinky44 28
You're a beautiful shed, I'd store my "tool" in you.