Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I ate at a friend's house. Her 5-year-old son, who was at the table with us, looked at me and said quietly, "You're ugly." My friend told him off, causing him to cry, and shout, "But she isn't pretty!" FML
Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML
Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML
Today, I overheard my husband of 3 years talking to our boss, an attractive blonde. She was telling him that she couldn't believe he was with me. She thinks I'm fat and ugly and that he's hot. He said, "She's not that bad…" We work in the same store and she follows him around like a puppy. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
Today, I walked into work and overheard three of my female coworkers talking and laughing about how ugly my face is, and how they’re sorry for whoever has to marry me. They went on to name the coworkers they actually would sleep with. I’m 25 and I've still never had a girlfriend. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend on the phone, asking him pick me up for a cookout while his kids were yelling in the background, asking where my friend, their dad, was going. He jokingly answered them, "To pick up my ugly friend." They quickly replied with my name, out of the dozens of friends he hangs out more with. FML
Today, at work, I overheard two of my coworkers talking about how "creepy" and "ugly" I am, and that I look like I'd be the kind of guy to sneak into someone's house and "have my way" with them. Boy, did that sure help with my self-esteem issues. I'm going to go and report them, but still. FML
Today, during my shift at a restaurant, my boss's daughter came in. I couldn't help but notice that she was almost popping out of her low-cut top. After having a private chat with her, my boss took me aside and said, "My daughter's got eyes you know, not just a pair of tits". FML
Today, I was volunteering at a school. There's this really bratty boy there and he was being rude, so I joked, "How are you ever gonna get a girlfriend when you're so mean?" He responds, "I think the better question is how are you ever gonna get a boyfriend when you're so ugly." He's 7. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 23
The moral of the story: don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
RichardPencil 30
Why would you say such a thing? You deserve it for height-shaming the poor kid! In a world where people get canceled for racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc, discrimination against short men is somehow still socially acceptable. And then little Vlad Putin comes along and makes things worse for the otter sawed-off shrimps.
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Comments (11)
poopface82 23
The moral of the story: don’t dish it out if you can’t take it.
RichardPencil 30
Why would you say such a thing? You deserve it for height-shaming the poor kid! In a world where people get canceled for racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc, discrimination against short men is somehow still socially acceptable. And then little Vlad Putin comes along and makes things worse for the otter sawed-off shrimps.
mike3775 36
As an adult, you know better than to say something like that. YDI
lastjedi 3
really an adult bullying a child? glad he had a great retort. maybe next time keep it zipped? learned a lesson i hope.
Crowned Sataness 12
You well deserved that. You didn't know him like that to be making jokes about something he's probably already being bullied about in school. Adult bullying a kid. Shame. Kudos to him for standing up to himself
MidnaLink 33
While I agree for the most part, calling her a **** was a little far for a comeback to a short joke.
Earl_KarmasBitch 34
If everyone laughed rather than looking shocked he clearly read the audience better than she did.
wrenavery90 12
Wow. I can't believe you'd comment on a kids height. It's probably something he's really self conscious about.
JackWood 20
Don't diss on children period. You deserved everything you got including the chuckles cause you got powned
BurnInDemonFire 35
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
From now on keep your mouth and legs closed.
Grumpy Jack 26
17 y.o. ? Still can grow up a little. Not cool calling you a **** but you still deserve it !