Today, I told my mom I was going through a growth spurt. She said, "Yeah, horizontally." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I told my mom I was excited my boobs were getting bigger. She told me that that's what happens when you get fat. FML
Today, in public, one of my mom's friends asked me how on earth did I get so tall. My mom happily scampered to my side and shrieked, "TWO YEARS OF BREAST MILK!" FML
Today, I asked my mom if she thought I looked skinny in my shorts. She jiggled my leg fat, looked up at me and walked away. FML
Today, I had to sit through yet another one of my mom's, "You need to grow and gain some weight!" rants. I'm 22 and she doesn't believe me when I tell her I'm done growing. I'm pretty sure I'm not getting past 5'2". FML
Today, I'm a 5ft2 guy and I was at the seamstress's getting some dressy pants shortened for a wedding this week. She got it to the right length, then told me, "Don't worry, you're still growing." My dad started laughing, and she stared at me as I told her that I'm 25. FML
Today, my mom and I were looking at dresses for me at the mall. The cashier pointed out a dress, and my mom said, "She's definitely not going to fit into that. She's too flat-chested." FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, my mom said my boobs are finally getting bigger and that I've finally hit puberty. I'll be celebrating my 31st birthday next week. FML
Today, my 5 year-old daughter watched me getting dressed in the bathroom and asked, "Mum, when my boobs grow, will they droop like yours?" FML
Today, I called my mom to tell her that I finally got my period. There was an awkward pause. She was at work. I was on speakerphone. FML
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Top comments
Aethren 0
she saw you get a boner?
naza517 0
u guys r assholes..... u act like being fat is a ******* crime, yeah some ppl can stand to lose weight but it's ultimately up to them, don't need assholes like u to put them down as well
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Comments (39)
mleugim 0
Is she your mother? mmm
greatbelow 0
She must pay for making that comment....
breenarae25 0
REVENGEE!!!!!!!!!
gorina 0
You guys are way too easily butthurt.
Edmund_Dantes 0
Are you claiming to be going through the "growth spurt" as an excuse for getting fat? Because your mom's right, growth spurts are generally vertical.
ZING_MASTER 0
To be fair, you teed that one up pretty high.
Aethren 0
she saw you get a boner?
hugoni2000 20
Op is female...
xPediophobia 0
That's something my dad would say.
Stan_Cubed 7
Hahaha parents are jerks.
d_dh2310 0
what a rude mother. don't take her seriously unless you actually have a health problem and need to lose weight.
youaresofucked 0
#16 hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. But yeah, seriously fatty, get on the treadmill, and stop going to McDonalds.
NoGoodNoUse 0
I'm sorry to say but that was a good burn. Well bad for you good for her
kathira120 3
Yeahh McDonald's isn't the place for you to be right now, fatty. Shut up and quit complaining. If your so fat, HIT THE FREAKIN GYM!!! FML doesn't need fatties who sit on their butts all day typing FML's like this for attention .get a job...or a girlfriend who will accept your obesity problem....>.>
frenchyhater 0
listen mother ******* bitch my best friend is fat and i dont make fun of him you are just a shallow ******* piece of shit youll get yours one day. your probably going to have fat kids
Sweeney90 0
Tell your "best friend" to get to the gym as well then. Lard arse.
naza517 0
u guys r assholes..... u act like being fat is a ******* crime, yeah some ppl can stand to lose weight but it's ultimately up to them, don't need assholes like u to put them down as well