Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we were out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML
Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML
Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
Today, driving home, my girlfriend and I decided we were finally going to have sex. We got in the backseat, then I opened my condom to find it was already broken. We ended up playing connect four instead. FML
Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
brokenly 5
My comment sucks.
LiterOfCola 16
I'd say ask her for a ******** but...
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Comments (304)
rainbowkissies 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I honestly doubt the pull out method wouldn't work in this case, or do anal. nothing wrong with sex in any form, even without a condom.
KiddNYC1O 22
You're 16...
JurassicHole 5
15 - Except for the whole catching STD's and all that jazz. Always wrap before you tap.
Shrike 24
The pull-out method doesn't work anyway. It started out as wishful thinking on the part of a bunch of brain-dead teens. No offense, but take a sex ed class, FFS.
CharresBarkrey 16
You're extremely young and naive, 15.
RedPillSucks 33
someone is going to be pregnant before HS is over.
KeannaLove 32
You doubt the pull-out method wouldn't work? Really? The pull-out method is probably the worst way to prevent pregnancy with the exception of not using anything and just going for it. Please do your homework before you make a comment.
cmyk 19
The pull out move works brilliant. If you want to get pregnant or pay child support. Or if you hunt for STD's. Don't parents talk to their kids about sex anymore?! Or least ask the school to? No wonder there are so many pregnant teens around if thats what they learn in sex ed! -.-
lexi365 20
This is why I hate my generation....
jelly713 19
15, do some research, educate yourself about this before you do anything else. Seriously, ignorance is not bliss with sex, it leads to regrettable mistakes. Don't take any advice from your own peers ask someone who knows if you don't want to look up things.
gmc_blossom 21
96- I know what you mean. Our generation sure is ****** up. -.-
lux0rd 18
Pull out #15? Really? Have fun with your minivan!
the_enigma1019 1
Well, that is unfortunate, perhaps have a form of sex that does not induce the risk of pregnancy, or jack off, one of the two
KiddNYC1O 22
If its one of those risqué soaps, rub one out to the horrible acting...
KMtheDrummer 6
Your girlfriend is a dumbass.
Futacy 30
Soap operas: The next best thing behind sex. LOL
YoungMisfit 9
Your next choice will be, Left or right today
bettyboop428 24
Way to practice safe sex! This is an uncommon practice nowadays.
hatesfate 6
While 54 made an awesome comment and word play. THIS comment is the best one in this FML IMHO.
JimmyDevotion 4
FYL, but it's better than sitting there with a positive pregnancy test in a few weeks.
fmessiah 19
you have hands, she has hands. you have a mouth, she has a mouth. presumably.
Posthuman 26
She has a mouth, but he doesn't want her to chew his dick up like she did the rubber
laurenlovesjb 20
You were unprepared. People having sex should have multiple condoms ready for things like that.