By horsefuck - 07/08/2015 12:51 - Malaysia - Kuala Lumpur

Spicy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between her teeth. I have no idea how she didn't feel it, but I couldn't stop fixating on it and started going soft. I had to cry out, fake an orgasm, then toss the condom really quickly to spare her feelings. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 436
You deserved it 6 830

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Or tell her she has broccoli in her teeth

If you had have told her, she probably would have thought nothing of it, fixed the problem, and you could have had a real orgasm instead of faking it

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I know you would hate to rabe her of the moment, but you should probably tell her. It's better she knows that there's something in her teeth before she goes out.

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Good for you to spare her feelings like that.

Seriously? All he had to do was tell her and she would probably gotten it out and gotten back in bed with him and back to business!

Just like women who fake orgasms instead of coaching their bf, no?

#48 or in this case, fake-fired :D

Well the situation might be that OP's girlfriend might be very insecure about herself, so OP didn't want to point something out that would make her more insecure. It's a big assumption to make without a follow up, but just a thought.

He should've just turned her around and hit it from behind. Out of sight out of mind.

How nice OP, I'm sure it will be repaid one day!

How is that nice? He could have just told her and then finished for real instead of letting a piece of good ruin his sex. It's really immature to be honest

How is that immature, if he pointed out she had broccoli stuck in her teeth while inside her. she probably wouldn't have let him finish because she'd get that he was focusing on her teeth instead of the sex. so good job op

Uh she could get it out real quick and then they could continue. I don't know about you but I wouldn't let broccoli get in the way of my sex

That is literally the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Have you never had a sex life where you can talk and joke during sex.....? Like a piece of broccoli isn't the worst thing to happen during sex and not something to fake gasm over.........it's not even that embarrassing if it's your significant other.....

Or tell her she has broccoli in her teeth

Ya that's not a mood killer. "You like that? Want me to go harder?.. By the way you have broccoli in your teeth..."

Or you could get over it like a normal human being.

It's kinda gross but OP handled pretty decently.

'That right, guys fake orgasms too!' 'This has been a Public Service Announcement.'

And you didn't break up with her?!?? Hahah but seriously, telling her she has broccoli in her teeth doesn't spare her feelings. You guys could have had a good laugh from it.

maybe she's really self conscious, or maybe she would be upset that he got distracted during SEX? I'm sure OP had his reasons, he's the one who really knows her

Very chivalrous of you, OP :)

If you had have told her, she probably would have thought nothing of it, fixed the problem, and you could have had a real orgasm instead of faking it

And maybe not have wasted a condom. That shit's expensive.

That's awesome that you thought of her before yourself, OP!