Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
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By
Hylia_fml
| 6
Yummy! Must have been a tasty snack, eh? xD
Reply
airforce987
| 20
Doesnt matter had...........*hears rumbling off in the distance* what's that?.......oh my god. OH MY GOD!!! RRRRUUUUUUUNN! FLEE!!! Flee for your lives!!!! The dead meme nazis are coming for us!!!!! *trips* NOOOOO!!! Go on without me!!!! Gahhhh!!!! *dies*
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putloginhere
| 6
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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Latissimus
| 3
Doesnt matter had sex now bury me
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tennisrapper1
| 14
Tasty for OPs girlfriend!
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BunchieRules
| 31
It looks like another stampede of angry FMLers is among us! Quick, 12, it's DocBastard at 6 o' clock!
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reddawn1985
| 12
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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Ambreanna
| 0
You mustve been really hungry ;D
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Skittlepickle
| 13
53- that's like asking what a vagina is
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xxxalpacaxxx
| 0
53's 14. It's slightly okay then.
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ryanman2
| 1
Semen
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reddawn1985
| 12
Too many negative votes, comment buried.
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VenomSiphon
| 13
*than
*basis
Stop making public school look bad.
*basis
Stop making public school look bad.
Reply
nico139
| 4
Well said, 84.
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truth_spitta
| 0
Don't know why 97 got down voted lol and 84, imo...you have the grammar of my 8 year old sister...and I'm 14...maybe it's just rare to know how to speak English correctly at my age?
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melikeyturtles
| 3
#12- well done *slow claps*
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alphaskater09
| 9
Pubic skoowl is bad they no teach me nothin goowd
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MrBrightside21
| 20
127 - Haha...pubic schools...
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aaahhhfire21
| 0
Guess you found out how safe it was hopefully no surprise in 9 months
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tothenifty
| 1
I said fuck game
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the_anti_hipster
| 7
53--thousands of OPs would-be children. RIP, little swimmers...
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JBMcC
| 7
84- stop talking
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Doogy700
| 5
53- Semen.
By
symmathos
| 0
Morning after pill.
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rosesofash860
| 8
I was just about to say that.
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Addy414
| 12
I do believe it was a man hanging it over his mouth.... I don't think he needs the morning after, it was his sperm
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Addy414
| 12
.... But the gf might want to take the morning after
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OhDearBetrayal
| 25
78- They should both take the pill. We don't want either of their ovaries bearing children because of this.
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alexup24
| 13
He better take it, "just to make sure." Anyone get the fml reference?
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BradenLock
| 4
Are you f#@%ing kidding me?
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zachherbert
| 10
Or just gargle some mouthwash. Cleveland's voice: "THAT'S NASTY!"
By
eeyoremily
| 1
Well it wasn't leaking before your dumba$$ put it above your mouth, so you're probably ok.
Reply
downtime
| 12
Micro tears would be a problem. Obviously if it is shredded enough to fall apart like that then the structure has been damaged already.
OP, I think you need to work harder on humour. Dangling a used condom over your mouth doesn't exactly scream comedy.
OP, I think you need to work harder on humour. Dangling a used condom over your mouth doesn't exactly scream comedy.
Reply
DenBriZel
| 31
And at least he know what his own jizz tastes like. Now he can't be so prissy if a girl doesn't wanna swallow.
By
Psycho_Babydoll
| 26
Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.
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Me_You_Us
| 7
Maybe he wanted to admire his work?
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DespairFaction
| 11
Seriously, why would any guy do that? Worst joke ever.
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zachherbert
| 10
Who doesn't do this? Semen cleanses the face, opens the pores, and gets rid of wrinkles.
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onlychildFTW
| 33
I don't think that's true 154. It really does all those things?
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zachherbert
| 10
After years of experience, yes, it does. It's basically a fountain of youth.
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Purplefluff
| 6
Interesting image
By
SkoomaKi
| 27
So... you gave yourself a facial?
Smooth.
Smooth.
Reply
kionnaloves
| 11
Lmao!
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Azula272
| 14
Apparently sperm is good for your skin 0.o
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peachesncreem
| 21
I'll testify to that.. Erm.. I mean, EWW!
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fenixtorador1
| 11
Skooma, I always look forward to your comments, WAY too funny!! Lol
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downtime
| 12
How regularly does this magic elixer need to be applied? If it's more than 8 times a day I may need to free up some room in my diary for 'me time'...
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zachherbert
| 10
I apply it 7 times a day. At every meal. Once when I wake up, once before bed. Once after I shower, and the last one at my grandparents.
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the_anti_hipster
| 7
163--if you're collecting it yourself, your hand must be silky smooth..:do I detect a new marketing solution for Nivea??
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alexup24
| 13
Supersoak that hoe
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themarshal_fml
| 6
Bad Luck Brian:
Has sex
Gives himself a facial
Has sex
Gives himself a facial
By
Isoldael
| 27
If your girlfriend is worried about getting pregnant, she might want to consider getting the morning after pill.
Reply
Isoldael
| 27
Urgh, I'm sorry, I don't know how I missed #2 saying that :(
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Stupend0us
| 7
Or she might want to consider taking BC pills instead of relying on condoms only.
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the_anti_hipster
| 7
150--I personally hate BC because every type of pill I've been on zaps my sex drive completely. I'd go from sex every day to sex once a month. Maybe. No bueno.
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superweasel
| 0
Oh my goodness, I LOVE your picture!! So stinkin' adorable!
By
RedPillSucks
| 31
Wow. You get to taste your own cum....
Did you grin and lie about how wonderful it tasted.
Did you grin and lie about how wonderful it tasted.
Reply
SkoomaKi
| 27
Melons and watermelons help with the taste of cum, don't they?
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therealslim
| 15
Pineapple, I heard..
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Dracoboxer357
| 35
^ I heard it was pineapple that "increased it's appeal" for those who rate it's flavour. ;P
Edit: Bah, 30 beat me to it. :)
Edit: Bah, 30 beat me to it. :)
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j_cat187
| 19
I thought it was celery.
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SkoomaKi
| 27
Cum in our own mouths? Noor, there is a line!
Yet, it seems logical.,
Yet, it seems logical.,
Reply
challan
| 19
Celery helps increase the production of sperm, but I don't believe it changes the flavor.
Red meats, pineapple and other acidic fruits and decreasing the amount of beer and coffee help the most. Btw... I learned at a sex workshop not through personal test testing.
Red meats, pineapple and other acidic fruits and decreasing the amount of beer and coffee help the most. Btw... I learned at a sex workshop not through personal test testing.
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Ambreanna
| 0
60- you go to sex workshops?
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sufferinurjocks
| 3
No wonder why my GF always has watermelon in the fridge...
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MerrikBarbarian
| 9
Melons, pineapple and cinnamon can make it taste sweeter or milder.
Beer, chocolate and red meats give it a bitter taste.
Read in various sources and tested through the scientific method ;) the more you know!!! Or perhaps Noor? XD
Beer, chocolate and red meats give it a bitter taste.
Read in various sources and tested through the scientific method ;) the more you know!!! Or perhaps Noor? XD
Reply
challan
| 19
Lol my mom is a couples sex therapist so yes, I have been to many! Red meat as in steak medium rare- helps. Red meat as in taco bell lol hurts.
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Fasterkill
| 6
Sex workshops are seriously fun.
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challan
| 19
Yes they are!! How can knowing more ways to orgasm ever be bad?!
By
CustardAndPie
| 13
Next time, check the expiration date, maybe? (Or just don't squeeze it so hard.)
By
luvbughug
| 5
Now you know how us females feel!
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skoob1
| 12
You mean taste, right?
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alshygirl
| 14
No feel
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VenomSiphon
| 13
*we females
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ihaveFMLfeverr
| 5
97 you would...
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ladyLALAA
| 28
Yeah what is the fascination with doing it on the face, gets in the hair, so disgusting!
By
quincykid23
| 6
U deserve it. But that definitely sucks for you. Look on the bright side, at least ur having sex!
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lottie333
| 0
that grose
Smooth.