By Colton - 20/12/2011 02:29 - United States

Spicy
Today, I grabbed some lotion to have a good old wank. However, I'd got it a bit wrong in my rush to spurt my man-mush into an old gym sock, and had picked up some concentrated bronzer. I now have neon-orange hands and genitals. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 956
You deserved it 50 451

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Top comments

abbytequiere 9

You deserve this just for calling it your man-mush. Really?

New nick name - "The Thing"

Comments

New nick name - "The Thing"

farnsworth 3

Ur caught orange handed!

Now they match!

BIGBOY4rmAHM 19

Or oompa loompa. Which ever OP prefers.

It wasn't your girlfriends $90 lotion was it?

chlorinegreen 27

Your going to be a hit at the highlighter party!

Most people forget to tan there

He could be Snookie? Stupid Jersey Shore..

flakitaa22 0

I've seen this FML before. It's old.

flakitaa22 0

I've seen this FML before. It's old.

Wouldn't they have matched already?

There are 666 YDI's, so I think I'll wait a bit before hitting that. But OP definitely deserves it... I've never made that mistake personally. More of a dry guys myself.

guy* That definitely shouldn't have been plural. Could be taken the wrong way.

tattooedcowboy 6

It was and lmfao

ducttapewallet 7

This man has quite the substitute vocabulary...

We found the missing dick of Pauly D! *confers with collegues* It's a Christmas miracle!

G0v3nat0r 7

I agree with 28 lol

flakitaa22 0

I've read this FML before. It's old.

unitedfan11 0

"spurt my man mush"? Am I the only one who's never heard of this term?

No,you are not alone,this is my first time hearing this

Is only one hand orange? That'd be a dead giveaway

Do they glow in the dark?

This reply chain xD

CABOOSE8563 0

What's the saying? Look before you wank? No... That's not it...

chlorinegreen 27

I have a feeling he will be using the hand for awhile. Just more careful with what he uses. OP you should be more careful when your raiding moms bathroom closet.

Before you wank, empty the tank.

Before you wank, grab the $90 moisturizer.

blackstar994 5

Good one 96! xD

I have never heard of man-mush until today...?

abbytequiere 9

You deserve this just for calling it your man-mush. Really?

Well how funny would this FML be without him calling his junk some funny name... Still funny but not as much

Holy shit I'm am really out of it... YEAAHHH!!!!! LSD :D

In my head right now thumbs downs are good :D

Thank you talking cola bottle you always where better than Pepsi. I loved coke as a child sometimes used to snort bottles of it...Ahhh coke

builditbetter09 3

Stop trying man.

Shhhh you'll wake up me... He has been riding my ass lately

babyyninjas 1

you sound stupid FYL moop

Da fuck??????

Obviously trolling. Roflwaffles

Moop - you must be on some pretty shitty acid to be able to type without the letters being jumbled. I'm assuming you realized how dumb you sounded and decided to pretend to be on drugs in order to cover up. Next time, choose a drug you've ACTUALLY done.

Hey, at least he made it rhyme. In a rush to spurt his man-mush. I give him props for this. ^_^

danny1170 0

Nice one u are hot by the way

danny1170 0

Nice

Takador 3

I repeat, WHO THE FUCK USES LOTION TO MASTURBATE?!?!?!? You fucking pricks

Man-mush (noun): an alternate name for semen, often used to avoid the social awkwardness that comes using discussing semen. However, it usually makes the situation MORE awkward.

Time to lube up the rest of your body to even it up!

I'm pretty sure I've read this somewhere before

And it also sounds like something that would be on American Pie

flockz 19

never rush the man mush. treat the man mush nicely and give a sincere wank everytime. i suggest you line the hallway leading to your bathroom with rose petals.

Epictacos18 0

U sir or mam are a funny man or woman

Hey 84! Click on that square next to his name! Yes, the one with the kids playing "Guess Who". Congrats. Now you know which set of genitalia Flockz has.

twinny_sc 13

Shower.

That can help. Plus your skin cells will eventually fall off, so maybe rubbing would speed that up, and as you can see in the FML...he likes rubbing his man-mush

Sulphuric_Glue 16

90 all men do (and btw man mush means semen not penis)

lizard399 0

Care for a carrot ladies? Haha

So many eager young bunnies that id love to pursue. Now even though they eaten out the palm of my hand, there's only one carrot and they all gotta share it! - Bruno Mars

flockz 19

if life gives you melons, you could be dyslexic. - George Washington

Sulphuric_Glue 16

If life gives you lemons, make life take the lemons back. I don't want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these!? -Cave Johnson

I said a wank, wank a wankitty wank.

I said a wank wank wankitty wank! Gotta love HYMYM

Well that's now stuck in my head

smittyman1990 0

At least it isn't icy hot...

Nebulas_n_Novas 7

Good point

anzie_fml 9

Or his girlfriend's $90 moisterizer.

yumlicious 4

Moisturizer

Moisturiser - Stop changing our language!