By Metime - 05/11/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML
I agree, your life sucks 7 634
You deserved it 33 289

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I would buy a shitton of that stuff.

You sir, are an idiot. lmao Haven't you ever watched Home Alone? lmao


I would buy a shitton of that stuff.

mine is already bigger than that

YDI for using anything labelled After Shave on your member. wanna try wankin with Bengay now, lonly one?

YDI why would you use after shave??

You would normally use it to smell good.

You Americans and your sad pathetic need to be first

Yeah I'm not seeing any problem here what's the FML? Lol

2 words for when you run out again: baby oil

WTF were you thinking?

You sir, are an idiot. lmao Haven't you ever watched Home Alone? lmao

Exactly. That stuff has alcohol in it. Burns like hell. The OP won't be getting any for a while, even from his right hand.

size of a fist! a dream of all men AND their women!! congratulations!!

Uh, yeah. Because all women want to be fisted. /sarcasm That's just men that think a dick the size of a watermelon would be appealing.

Add to the fact it's probably too sore for op to do anything with.

"Swollen" to the size of your fist? Geeez, really FYL.

ur an but trust me coming from a girls point of view..thts good lol

I'm a girl. I don't think that's a good thing. I can also type words like "you". Maybe IQ has something to do with it...

and "tht" has an a in it. you classy, classy lady.

Yea something that big will actually hurt whatever girl you have sex with

lmao, you guys, girls won't like it. Its probably hideously swollen, and its not like he can use it, pretty sure he'd be in constant pain. And he deserved it, there's no way that was even close to his best option lmao. I don't get how he didn't consider just going lotionless. Or is lotion a must, iunno... lmao

Yay, an intelligent man! I was starting to think that they were a myth.

All women deep down want a fist sized penis inside of them so go take advantage of that buddy.

Dear god, I hope that was sarcasm!

you must have very small fists...