Sex, Relatable, Cute and Intimacy: Squelching the night away

Squelching the night away

By alison - 04/07/2015 05:02 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 002

You deserved it 4 942

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Rush of gas

By Fart queen - 05/12/2022 04:00

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heard to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 577

You deserved it 706

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 269

You deserved it 38 171

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 763

You deserved it 4 459

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 659

You deserved it 2 133

Honky

By Anonymous - 05/08/2015 14:06 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 025

You deserved it 5 032

Valid reason

By stephhh055 - 21/10/2019 16:00 - United States - Portland

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 265

Turn off

By Anonymous - 03/11/2012 18:02 - Australia - Wembley

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 943

You deserved it 4 233

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 809

You deserved it 4 626

By atleese - 31/12/2011 15:37 - United States

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 440

You deserved it 31 890

By Haley. - 26/03/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 290

You deserved it 6 530

qwertycode 19

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

At least he's comfortable around you :]

mariah_1_11 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 5:59

Are you related to the Canadian queef sisters?

Comments

Dodge4x4Ram 46

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:21

Terrance and Philip anyone?

xdafuze 12

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:32

the queef sisters!

xoamy906 25

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:24

Don't worry too much, it's completely normal. Me and my boyfriend both laugh whenever it happens. It's good to see he's comfortable around you though :)

15Erik 21

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:33

It's a hard life

StiffPvtParts 43

Sunday 5 July 2015 23:18

It was hard... and then it wasn't.

ryannmichael 17

Sunday 5 July 2015 6:44

That is a gassy situation.

Miss_Whipped 43

Sunday 5 July 2015 7:39

You took it was too fart this time.

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 5 July 2015 17:12

Both of you leave now...

Miss_Whipped 43

Monday 6 July 2015 21:25

I honestly tried to say 'You took it way too far this time.' There wasn't supposed to be a pun there but that is pretty funny. My apologies.

littlejuwa 8

Sunday 5 July 2015 7:10

Dont worry it happens to me im wicked embarrassed when it happens and my boyfriend just tells me its okay cause i cant help it. Thats what happens when they thrust fast lol

myanichole 22

Sunday 5 July 2015 7:12

It's actually so adorable that he wasn't reacting in disgust and you seem comfortable.

YoursAlways98 13

Thursday 16 July 2015 11:57

It's adorable that he wasn't disgusted with her? The bar has never been lower...

mustangbravo 27

Sunday 5 July 2015 7:21

I've had that happen with a girl. I just kept going. Slowed down a bit to minimize it and we had an amazing night. Hang in there OP.

officercupid 7

Sunday 5 July 2015 7:23

OP, when that happens to me I just change positions. Missionary, I've found, allows minimal queefing. Positions where your back is to him, I've also found, are the worst if you want to avoid that sort of thing.