Love, Awkward and Party: Cobblers

Cobblers

By Anonymous - 20/04/2022 14:00

Today, my husband is so antisocial that when our cul-de-sac held a street party, he threw a half empty Pepsi out of our bedroom window to make us stop playing music. It hit our local vicar. When I demanded he apologise, he just shouted, "Cobblers to the lot of you", and shut the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 238

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Neighborly

By Anonymous - 14/05/2024 23:00

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 117

Hiding something?

By Carolina - 16/08/2023 14:00

Today, my husband threw an epic tantrum about how “men are allowed to have female friends”, smashed stuff in the living room, for him to storm out and slam the door, making the house tremble. All I did was tell him that his friendship with his secretary made me uncomfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 202

By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 20:19 - Switzerland

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 802

You deserved it 7 597

By WaffleJesus - 07/10/2015 08:29 - United States

Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 323

You deserved it 2 565

By NotYourFriend - 24/10/2016 19:53

Today, I had to kick my husband's friend out of our house after a week. He left lights on, played video games all day, ate all of our food and laughed when his son hit my dog. He was only invited over for one dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 146

You deserved it 863

It's sus to us

By Clean up time - 15/11/2023 08:00

Today, I sat my husband down for a talk for him to stop going to his female coworker’s house until 1-2am. He insists they’re doing work projects. He became so offended that I thought otherwise that he thrashed the entire living room, stomped out of the house, and slammed the door, completely dislodging it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 147

Dealing with it

By Anonymous - 26/03/2020 02:05

Today, my husband's idea of social isolation is to lock himself in his caravan with his Xbox, 200 cans of beer and a dozen takeaway menus. I’ve not seen him in 6 days, and when I tried to force entry to tell him to snap out of it, he sprayed disinfectant at me until I couldn’t breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 148

You deserved it 486

By Faaccckkk - 25/03/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 975

You deserved it 3 339

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 10:16 - United States

Today, my drunk boyfriend decided to try to serenade me by throwing rocks at my window and singing a song about how much he loves me. This would have been extremely sweet if he would have gotten my window instead of my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 793

You deserved it 2 393

By Singlewife - 23/03/2019 22:00

Today my husband got drunk and wrecked the house. And when I say wrecked the house, I mean ripping everything off book shelves, Tearing the ceiling fan out of the wall, Opening the fridge and shoveling everything out. Glass everywhere. etc. and this isn’t the first time. I clean up every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 1 598

poopface82 19

Wednesday 20 April 2022 17:40

Evidently “cobblers” is Cockney rhyming slang for testicles. I’m not sure where this story took place, but the farther from the UK it is, the more bizarre it is that someone used Cockney for “suck my balls” as a retort to someone asking for an apology.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 April 2022 14:36

What are you going to do when the shoemakers show up? I'll bet the vicar thinks your husband needs them to repair his sole!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 20 April 2022 14:36

What are you going to do when the shoemakers show up? I'll bet the vicar thinks your husband needs them to repair his sole!

Marcella1016 31

Wednesday 20 April 2022 15:54

*My husband is such an asshole FTFY

poopface82 19

Wednesday 20 April 2022 17:40

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 20 April 2022 20:33

You could have sent the poor guy to a hotel for a day so he didn't have to hear it. He couldn't have stopped you, but you didn't have to make him listen to all that noise on his doorstep. I wouldn't want it myself, but if I knew it was coming I'd make arrangements to avoid it.