Intimacy: Sounds hot - FML

Sounds hot

By oops999 - 19/11/2013 19:46 - United States - Downingtown

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 984

You deserved it 9 470

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/01/2010 15:49 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 325

You deserved it 7 922

Snoozefest

By notsogood - 08/11/2013 20:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 535

You deserved it 19 396

By waitforit - 23/04/2009 11:42 - United States

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 371

You deserved it 93 746

By Ah - 08/03/2010 05:42 - France

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 832

You deserved it 6 361

That escalated badly

By Anonymous - 19/03/2020 09:03

Spicy

Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 299

You deserved it 396

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 355

You deserved it 3 417

No kinkshaming, but come on…

By Erik Monkey - 27/04/2022 07:00 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 02/11/2009 14:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all this, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 133

You deserved it 5 108

By erpuchi - 01/12/2010 01:52 - Dominican Republic

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 7 030

Bad sign

By Anonymous - 30/12/2010 01:28 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 848

You deserved it 6 264

Next

Top comments

MysticMonkey 9

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:02

You're ******* a pornstar? Not all bad!

thehumanlyhuman 7

Wednesday 20 November 2013 0:03

The fact that she suggested it to you makes me laugh. She must be pretty proud of her performance...

Comments

vikky538 28

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:19

that's one way of telling secrets... lol ..well I am not sure if I should be sorry for u

Diablo44 2

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:22

apparently his life isn't the only thing that sucks

thehomied420 4

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:25

Must see

c00lsk8erboi 7

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:26

well what's it called? lmao

8313girl 28

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:26

She sounds awesome and classy! Good choice OP lol

Vomitpox 14

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:39

What movie? Would love to see it

mythicaltimes 15

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:39

Maybe she will have the fake ****** noises figured out.

umpduck11 9

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:49

On one hand, you're dating a former **** actress. On the other hand, you're dating a former **** actress....

UrYousername 15

Wednesday 20 November 2013 7:20

On both hands, boobs. So, there's that.

NocturnalCro 14

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:53

Dude. Your life doesn't suck that bad.

_lifehappens_ 29

Wednesday 20 November 2013 4:59

well then :/

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The Top

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 528

You deserved it 30 075

Today, I'm 37 years-old. I work full time and make 20 dollars an hour. I live with my parents. I still cannot afford to move out and I'm completely broke. I keep overspending because I get anxious because I feel like a failure. I'm addicted to sugar and eat a pint of ice cream a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 535

The Top

Today, I tried demonstrate to my little brother that, unlike what he sees in cartoons, it is impossible to slip on a banana peel. I'm not too sure he's convinced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 030

You deserved it 36 823

Today, we got our family pictures back from the printers. I complained to my mom about the ones she picked. "Oh don't worry," she said. "I had them photoshop out your gut." I was talking about my smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 156

You deserved it 3 678

Today, after finally dropping my weight from an overweight 200 to a slim 135, my skin is now loose everywhere, and stretches about two inches out on my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 855

You deserved it 6 914

Today, our chocolate Labrador ran away. My dad adopted it because he really wanted a hunting dog, promising he'd be in charge of its training and feeding. I ended up getting saddled with that instead. The dog was so hyper it was untrainable, and dad blamed me when it burst out of its kennel and bolted into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 87

Today, I had to go back to the restaurant I had just eaten at and beg for my tip back so I could afford my bus home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 382

You deserved it 11 635

Today, someone spilled ammonium hydroxide in ethanol solution in the lab, which smells like very concentrated urine. Since the experiment involved Bunsen burners, we couldn't turn on the fans. We had to work in a lab that smelled like Satan's piss for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 591

You deserved it 1 199