Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. We decided to have sex in her basement. All awesome, until her mom walked down and wanted to watch a movie with us. I had to watch it naked under a blanket. FML
Today, during sex, my girlfriend got so bored that she asked me to tell her a story. FML
Today, I thought it would be really hot to watch porn while my girlfriend and I were having sex. I got so hot and aroused that I came before the previews even ended. That was less than one minute. FML
Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML
Today, a blowjob from my fiancée turned into exchanged oral, which turned into mutual masturbation while watching porn, which then turned into me being kicked out of the room because it was "weird" with me watching. FML
Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend finally showed me the porn she likes to watch. Amputees were involved. FML
Today, I finally had the opportunity to have sex with my girlfriend. This would be the first time for both of us, so I tried to make it really special. I had everything planned out to be very romantic. She loved how it was set up. After all that, I couldn't get it up at all, all night. FML
Today, my girlfriend got a great idea for her history class project... while we were having sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she starts laughing and says, "Wow, this is just too funny." FML
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Top comments
MysticMonkey 9
You're ******* a pornstar? Not all bad!
thehumanlyhuman 7
The fact that she suggested it to you makes me laugh. She must be pretty proud of her performance...
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Comments (168)
vikky538 28
that's one way of telling secrets... lol ..well I am not sure if I should be sorry for u
Diablo44 2
apparently his life isn't the only thing that sucks
thehomied420 4
Must see
c00lsk8erboi 7
well what's it called? lmao
8313girl 28
She sounds awesome and classy! Good choice OP lol
Vomitpox 14
What movie? Would love to see it
mythicaltimes 15
Maybe she will have the fake ****** noises figured out.
umpduck11 9
On one hand, you're dating a former **** actress. On the other hand, you're dating a former **** actress....
UrYousername 15
On both hands, boobs. So, there's that.
NocturnalCro 14
Dude. Your life doesn't suck that bad.
_lifehappens_ 29
well then :/