Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
RabbitOfAurora 28
I know what dick move that was if it hadn't been previously discussed, but I can't help but be somewhat amused by her antics ^^;
emileekay1242 9
So disgusting. I know she wouldn't want anything from her ****** in her mouth
Solano2580 24
Does anyone not realize she could have given him herpes or sone other STD from that? Plus that is disgusting and uncalled for
Polynomial 28
... How? It was HIS milk, not someone elses. He could have given it to her though.
JayVicious 20
she could have also gave him something just with the bj. but yeah her spitting his own milk in his mouth wouldnt have.
goaliestud30 23
Ewwwwwwweeww
kiki1622 8
Hey! She could've easily swallowed or spit????
DoomSkuller 28
I'd be turned on
Tyguy823 14
Was it still enjoyable
KrDizzy 16
If he's so grossed out by his own bodily fluids, why does he expect you to have it in your mouth and swallow it? Sex is a dirty act. He sounds like a pussy. Hell, I give oral after it's been inside of me and you don't see me crying like a little bitch, but I also don't find myself disgusting lol.
LoverWordsFood 27
You really didn't read, did you? He said that she Surprised him when she gave him a ******** and then 'swallowed' but came up to basically spit his semen into his mouth. He never asked her to do that and that's the total fml. His girlfriend is just an asshole. You don't do that to someone unless they say they're okay with it.
leogachi 15
@116 No, YOU didn't read it. It doesn't say anywhere that he was surprised by the bj, only that he was surprised by her alleged swallowing.
Shamandalie89 32
Good for you. But this FML isn't about you, you know. We are not all the same. OP had every right to react the way he did since his gf did what she did without asking him first. That doesn't make him a pussy.
ChibiChick25 8
I think whether you are on the guys side or the girls side, its still pretty funny when you just think about.
attaboyyy11 11
Thats ******* disgusting and your girlfriend(hopefully ex now) is a ruthless vile pig.