Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
worldclassrager 41
Owned...
mustangbravo 27
Take it like a man lol.
BonerFart 23
you got snowballed xD
imkool136 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wish my girlfriend wasn't so grossed out by that. She gags and spits it out immediately cause it grosses her out in her mouth so much..
Miss_Whipped 43
Well she at least tries for you, so that's good.
RayneSmytson 24
I don't blame her. If you were to taste it the way she has, you probably would gag too. It doesn't exactly taste like chocolate or strawberries, you know.
a1_z9 10
Just curious, if she finds it so unpleasant, why do you come in her mouth still? Why not give her a heads-up and come somewhere else so she doesn't have to gag and spit?
mishwarner 14
Well then why don't you pull away & cut elsewhere?
footballer96 11
@48 maybe that's why my boyfriend loves me so much, I love giving head and swallowing every time as long as he eats me out
limabeans101029 21
Lol, what a nice reason to love someone
footballer96 11
@115 there's more reasons than that but that one is the most useful one to comment here
Goblin182 27
#48 At least she let's you cum on her mouth. my wife even suspects that I am close to cuming she stops.
Noodlezzzzz 5
You have to admit, that's fair... I mean it's nasty
BrotherPhil 35
Try eating more fruit and veg - just avoid asparagus. I understand that pineapple gives a good flavour.
frostedfoster 15
No one is questioning the fact that if it's her mouth... It should be able to be in his mouth... The issue here people is the way it went down. Most of the female comments have concentrated on semen in the mouth and not the delivery.. Let me ask you this... Say you're a smoker... You smoke... Would it be okay for me to spit a wad of chewing tobacco into your mouth when you weren't expecting it? Sorry OP... That's bollocks
SweetasCandy0609 28
I completely agree #54 this something that should have been discussed before hand, she may have done it because she didn't want him to cum in her mouth but if that's the case then they should have discussed that before hand however since it was his first ******* ever it may have happened so fast that he didn't get a chance to warn her it does happen and she should of understood that and shouldn't of done what she did it's completely messed up.
leogachi 15
@54 That's not the same. What would be the same is if you asked someone to buy you a pack of cigarettes and they came back with chewing tobacco instead.
DavyJoe 13
@frostedfoster That's a false equivalency fallacy if I have ever seen one. The scenario you suggested is assault. He was already engaging in this activity which means that this can't be considered rape. She would have had to do something far worse for it to be considered that. All she did was spit some cum. How is that worse that let's say touching her boob while he's inside her.
xDeadlyBlade99x 9
She's a keeper. lol
Seabass_Chan 33
Man the **** up, Dude.
oliv34 11
totally agree, he shouldve just spit it out, hope he didnt go into a bitch fit over it
Archangel12 9
So somebody can just spit even just saliva into your mouth without negotiation and you should "man up" and swallow it. If he'd consented to her spitting semen into his mouth, it would be fine, but it's the lack of consent that's worrying
SweetSociopathy 24
Why are so many people saying he should have to taste it because she does? I wouldn't want someone to spit a mouthful of pussy juice in my mouth. You swap fluids, not loan them out.
MrConcise 35
Really? ****, that's a bunch of blood the hospital is never gonna give me back.
gordjess1 19
This totally got through because of 'man milk'. Makes it sound worse haha
Dexter83_fml 17
Kinky lol