Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
confused_wandere 26
Here come the feminists...
Matttis 7
Don't worry! It's an acquired taste ;D You'll get used to it!
evtown 13
I'd be pretty upset. It's not that I have a double standard...if they don't want it in their mouth then they shouldn't let it get there!
DoomedGemini 38
Because they can tell? YOU kinda need to warn them.
ABByLeeVashe 17
Maybe she was trying to be spontaneous, OP, but either way that was disrespectful for her to snowball you without asking first, and also for laughing at you. You two should talk...
THEDUDE1553566 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would dump her ass so fast! That's disgusting! EW!!!!
superspooky 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If you expect her to swallow it, then you too should be able to swallow it.
Shamandalie89 32
But he DIDN'T expect her to, she herself said she wanted to swallow it. It's not like he made her do it, so I don't see why so many of you think he should be able to swallow it as well. Nobody should be forced to do something they don't want to do when having sex.
EarlFug 19
As long as she promises not to do that again, I'd brush my teeth and say it was worth it.
NickACD 27
Wow you overreacted. I've tasted my own semen before and it doesn't taste that good, but it's not enough to throw up.
lsbsqvd 7
spitters are quitters
vikky538 29
One simple rule. You can't give something you cant take.
molloytony 2
This rule is for talking bad about someone not sex.... Men and women have different anatomy, so while I agree in part OP didn't force the gf to take a mouthful so it was unjustified on her part. Plus by your logic men should be willing to take a penis for giving their penis and vice versa for women.