Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (178)
shaenasinclair 19
That is wrong on so many levels omg
ham_spam 17
Do u kiss ur mother with that mouth?
oliv34 11
haha!! nice...nice...
Dexter83_fml 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
By the way please tell me you broke up with her cause that is gross
Psycho_Babydoll 26
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Kinda gross, but I have to say YDI for referring to it as man milk...
oliv34 11
so youre ok with having some man milk once in a while? its cool if you do
jables38 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You kiss after receiving a *******? Kinda like putting your dick in your own mouth
_OF_WG_KTA_ 15
Did it taste good?
doumtabarnack 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
This is serious disrespect you should leave her.
oliv34 11
no wonder you are still single :O :)
NonoMeow 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I honestly don't understand why it's considered so gross for a man to 'taste' his own cum, but when a woman does it, it's fine.
confused_wandere 26
She chose to give him the BJ and she chose to do what she did! Are you saying that she is a mindless robot that only does what her boyfriend tells her? No! So get a damn grip for goodness sake!
leogachi 15
@80 Why do you always flip out over the smallest things? Take your own advice and get a grip. NOBODY was implying that the girlfriend is a mindless drone, and I really don't understand how you came to that conclusion.
ILikeKoalas 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well if you're disgusted by your own "man milk" why would you ever want your girlfriend to swallow it?
confused_wandere 26
It was her choice! She's not a mindless puppet! Stop blaming men for every single damn thing! Get a grip!
ILikeKoalas 24
Sure, but I'd still expect some consideration on the guys part. It really is revolting, and I'm surprised she could even hold it in her mouth.
jforren 14
The fact of the matter is that they didn't discuss it. Their needs to be communication during intimate moments like that. What OP's partner did wasn't okay.
JokerJ312 23
He didn't say he wanted her to, he even said he was surprised when she did, or so he thought, so I don't think he deserved it at all. Also while a lot of girls find it revolting there's girls that enjoy swallowing so she might be one of them and just wanted to mess with him.
leogachi 15
@108 It doesn't say that he was surprised by the bj, it says he was surprised that she was going to swallow.
ndnpride88 25
I think after that spit shed no longer be my girlfriend.