Today, my girlfriend and her friends mocked my "fragile masculinity" because I bought men's body wash instead of sharing her body wash. Her body wash is full of glitter, which irritates my skin horribly. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out the crappy shampoo I've been borrowing from my girlfriend is actually "feminine wash." FML
Today, my not-yet-even girlfriend dumped me in front of her family, as they all mocked and laughed at me because of my pointless and ridiculous "quirks". I'd told them that I shower and change into fresh clothes every day. I'd also said do not wipe after I poop, but I wash, soap, rinse, and dry. FML
Today, my girlfriend is pissed at me and crying that I bodyshamed her. She wants to do that cutesy shit of wearing my clothes and hoodies but she outweighs me by more than 50lbs. I’ve offered to buy her hoodies and spray my cologne on them for her, but I guess that’s not good enough. FML
Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "Radiance Ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "Radiance Ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML
Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being superficial. She said I was superficial because I paid $100 for acne medication, because she always complained about how much acne I had. FML
Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Anderling 33
In all honesty, this sort of situation makes me want to just take the term toxic masculinity away from people like this like ripping a toy out of a toddler’s hand and put it on a tall shelf until they learn what it actually is and how to use it. Even if the glitter didn’t irritate your skin, that doesn’t mean you’re required to like the look or texture of it to “prove” you’re secure in your masculinity! Stop diluting the term into meaninglessness!
FluffythePink 24
Glitter is the devils dandruff.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (6)
sarsuela 29
Make fun of her fragile femininity for not sharing your body wash?
Yudith 28
Now that would be funny, especially when men's bodywash usually smell like Obnoxious Flowers, Musk Tornado, Truckload of Pine or Toxic Cloud of Citrus.
Thaylok 17
Comment how the only difference between your body wash and hers is that hers has glitter AND costs twice as much and you don't fall for that marketing ploy.
Anderling 33
It’s called the Pink Tax if you want to throw out the lingo. Add that the glitter is releasing almost certainly nonbiodegradable plastics into the environment (or even if the packaging says they *are*, most biodegradable plastics still take ages to actually decompose in nature as opposed to the theoretical ideal conditions in a lab). If you want to double down, buy some glitterless women’s body wash in a scent that she absolutely hates and then make a big fuss about her not using it when you stepped out of your comfort zone for her! Why can’t she do the same for you? You’re doing all of this emotional labor and she won’t return it!
Thaylok 17
or do all that and say the new scent is your side chick's perfume.
Anderling 33
In all honesty, this sort of situation makes me want to just take the term toxic masculinity away from people like this like ripping a toy out of a toddler’s hand and put it on a tall shelf until they learn what it actually is and how to use it. Even if the glitter didn’t irritate your skin, that doesn’t mean you’re required to like the look or texture of it to “prove” you’re secure in your masculinity! Stop diluting the term into meaninglessness!
FluffythePink 24
Glitter is the devils dandruff.
lalalaila777 24
i don't think they know what masculinity and femininity means, every one is made up of both qualities. if they don't care that it causes you physical irritation, id cut out the people who don't care
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Who the hell would want to use body wash with glitter in it? Body wash is meant to get you clean, as in remove things from your body. If she intentionally uses body wash covered with glitter, I think she has a great future ahead of her as a stripper.