Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML
Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML
Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML
Today, I almost got a blowjob for the first time. Except I came before I even got in her mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided to try swallowing instead of spitting. Now this was entirely her own idea, I never asked her to try, and yet when she gagged, vomited, and sneezed so it all came dribbling out of her nose, somehow it was all my fault because I’m "disgusting." I love you too, Sweetie. FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML
Today, I made my new girlfriend orgasm for the first time. All she said after was "I drooled a little". FML
Today, my girlfriend was giving me a blowjob. All of a sudden, she stopped and said, "What's that thing at the back of your throat called?" FML
Today, my girlfriend went down on me for the first time. Just as I was reaching climax, my brother raced into the bathroom right next to my door and began to vomit extremely loudly. FML
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Top comments
Cyker 6
Well that's a mouthful.
sohigh10 34
Hell of a first experience:|
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Comments (178)
Joshawott 21
If you can give it, you can take it.
jennibean8 2
Man milk ????
Bananabus 1
So you're too good to swallow your own cum but she isn't? I hope you drown in a pool of other people's cum.
murythawn 13
Am I the only person who thought this was hilarious?
Joseph24689 14
At least... Well... Uh... There really is NO bright side to this. FYL OP
selemundo 4
and at that moment little Sarah knew, she was no longer in a relationship.
sharpie2434 12
Why would you wanna kiss her after she just got done blowing you?
JoseTheSmexican 11
Lol why would you kiss someone right after there was a dick in her mouth
hushhh 4
Now you know why women don't want that in their mouth.
iwadasn 33
If you're not willing to have it in your mouth, why should she?