Today, my boyfriend of two years logged into my Facebook account and broke up with himself. He is now receiving loads of sympathy, while I'm being accused of lying about it to save my reputation. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me. Ten minutes after, he called me asking how to change his relationship status on Facebook. FML
Today, I logged on to Facebook to find that my boyfriend's relationship status had changed to being in a relationship with his ex. I asked him about it, and all he said was, "I guess I forgot to break up with you." FML
Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has a Facebook account. He said he didn't have one. Apparently he's not divorced after all. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via Facebook. I don't even have Facebook. My friends had to tell me. FML
Today, I logged onto Facebook to find out that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML
Today, I saw my boyfriend took me off his relationship status on Facebook. He just left “In a relationship” blank. This came after he added some girl. When I confronted him about it, he screamed at me to the point of tears, and told me to stop worrying about stupid shit. Apparently, I also ruined his day. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because someone asked him if we were dating and he lied and said no. He said he didn't want to be a liar. FML
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Top comments
MeLuvBewbs 7
Go on Facebook and say your pregnant. I bet you'll receive alot of sympathy
Unabletuna 6
Log into his Facebook and piss off all those who gave him sympathy
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Comments (146)
The_Hitdude 12
Another douchebag doing anything for attention. Sucks OP, but you'll probably find a better guy than this weasle.
llamafish 25
Like a ferret? This would never happen if you were dating a ferret.
pokefan813 16
Or a Guinea pig? (sorry if I spelled it wrong)
Blaqkeyeliner 6
What a douche.
Draconium 8
Your ex sounds really mean, OP. Log onto his facebook and post a status telling the truth. Then change his password.
igive 29
or just call him out on it. point out what an attention ***** he is, and a dick for broadcasting a break up. he will now have burned his bridges with any potential girlfriends (well fb ones anyway).
llamafish 25
And now you're lying about it here, on FML. You sicken me.
suckerfish 9
what you need to do is log onto his Facebook & write a bunch of mean things about yourself like how you are ugly & fat & worthless ( even though thats not true) then comment on it saying this is why I broke up with him he was abusive & this is only verbally you didn't even get to see the physical abuse
jDCrackpot 7
No. You NEVER lie about domestic abuse of any sort, for any reason. Ever. Grow up.
GoldenGrizzly 7
I think the lying about the break up is abusive (in a way) because he ruined her reputation... BUT if he did not lift a hand to hurt her then she would be FAR worse than him to bring up domestic violence charges. That is a terrible idea and cruel. The guy was an ass, sure, and he should not have done what he did but potentially ruining his life far beyond one incident is over the top and cruel.
PIE_In_a_SKILLET 6
Then act your role as the bitchy girlfriend who breaks up with people via internet. Get in his house, on his facebook say something like "just ****** a groundhog" then throw his computer out the window. /was not here/
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Lmfao poor groundhog
jimmytheman 0
Stealthy a.f.
FalconWhitaker 20
Ugh, what an awful way to behave :( If you two haven't actually broken up, I would if I were you. That's a violation of your privacy and it's not cool.
LookOnBrightSide 12
Facebook, a place where people go to get facetious sympathy. I come to FML to get sympathy. At least here, people actually care about me. Please, tell me I'm not fat and ugly!
catharsis5 9
Genius, but now you have the opportunity to figure out which ones are your true friends.