Today, I had way too much to drink at a work picnic and started crying at about my ex, who cheated on me, while sitting on top of a slide at a playground. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my work had an employee party at the park and I drank a little too much vodka. Towards the end of the party, I found myself making out with a tree in front of all my co-workers. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I got so drunk I called my ex-boyfriend and confessed my love to him. All in front of my current boyfriend. FML
Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML
Today, I was drunk at a party and confessed my love for my crush and told her how I felt. According to my friends, I made out with another girl not long after my confession. FML
Today, I went to a party and saw my current boyfriend making out with my ex-boyfriend. FML
Today, I was drinking in the park with my friends. Being drunk, I relieved myself on a nearby tree. Unknown to me, a 4 year old was having her birthday party 100 yards away. I was arrested for public intoxication and exposing myself to a minor. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
That's horrible! I'm sure many children were traumatized seeing your ex having seated sex on the top of the slide with another woman. It wouldn't have been much better if it was you with him on the slide, except there wouldn't have been the indigity of cheating.
Yudith 28
This is why you never drink more than one or two glasses of wine/bottles of beer/Bloody Caesar at work picnics. Or work parties in general.
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Comments (5)
RichardPencil 32
That's horrible! I'm sure many children were traumatized seeing your ex having seated sex on the top of the slide with another woman. It wouldn't have been much better if it was you with him on the slide, except there wouldn't have been the indigity of cheating.
mick3446 15
There is a special place in Hell for crying drunks.
Yudith 28
This is why you never drink more than one or two glasses of wine/bottles of beer/Bloody Caesar at work picnics. Or work parties in general.
Hangryko 32
He's not worth your tears. Be liberated without him.
j.b. 1
Are you ... are you serious?
OnReceivingEnd 18
As soon as OP talked about getting drunk, this became a YDI.