Money and Health: Slasher

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 9 382

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Same thing different taste

How does that happen?

By Anonymous - 10/04/2023 22:00 - Unites States

Today, I accidentally super-glued my hand to my face while trying to fix a broken pair of glasses. I yanked it off in a panic, taking a patch of my face along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 443

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 723

You deserved it 341

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 788

You deserved it 812

By Anonymous - 28/10/2009 08:03 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 177

You deserved it 7 936

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

By Ouch - 26/10/2019 22:00

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 180

By sorethumb - 15/12/2015 23:39 - United Kingdom - Bookham

Today, while observing a surgery, I was asked to open a glass ampule of adrenaline. Not only did I break it and get it everywhere, I sliced open my thumb bad enough to need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 513

You deserved it 3 394

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 989

You deserved it 7 968

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 870

You deserved it 150

Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 887

You deserved it 626

By sharkgirl4 - 25/08/2014 16:17 - United States - Rialto

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 066

You deserved it 4 389

ohheykiwi 2

Monday 1 February 2010 12:14

You're gonna die. It's gonna get infected. And you will die.

arsenalfcboy 6

Monday 1 February 2010 12:36

FYL for living in a country with no National health care

Comments

Stroud_and_Proud 0

Monday 1 February 2010 21:27

well if you americans would support good old obama with the old 'socialist' health care you all fear you'd have got that sorted in no time. come over to england!

Rhien 0

Monday 1 February 2010 22:04

Tax increases make it cost more to people who actually have a job than normal paid health care.

Stroud_and_Proud 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 9:14

just watch michael moore's 'sicko' you'll soon see the ridiculousness of your system.

hercules268 0

Monday 1 February 2010 21:41

You should have used bandages. If that doesn't work or if you don't have any try duct tape. It's not that the superglue will kill you, but the oils that our bodies produce eat away at the glue opening the wound up again later on. Hopefully the wound will heal before that happens. If not, go with bandages next time.

Brittface 6

Monday 1 February 2010 21:47

haha sucks to be you. but sorry I call fake.

angrygood 0

Monday 1 February 2010 21:52

And yet you are probably typing/texting with that injured finger...

monkey314159 0

Monday 1 February 2010 22:38

You don't need medical insurance. You need a band-aid. And I don't understand how putting paper in the recycle bin gives you a cut. Do you violently throw it in so your hand slams the bottom of the bin?

superspi 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:02

take the glue out and put some antibacterial on there. the hit up ure first aid kit and use gauze to cover it up and tape it. u might need help taping it tho. it'll be alright. just tell that girl she has to be more aware next time. tc

alex1432 9

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:25

superglue was originally designed for just that thing during surgery

rockstarK9 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:54

exactly, it was pretty smart fast thinking on OPs part.

jake92hsv 10

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:33

yeh cause that's healthy :) but nice touch.. but you will die :)

BrotherTrent 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:53

I think this is bullshit. Who the hell is really so stupid that they'd superglue a cut closed? Come on! I hope you're lying and if you're not please don't have children. Thank you.

monkey314159 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 4:24

super glue was originally used for surgical procedures.

archeryqueen08 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 0:59

Just so you know this isn't complete bullshit... it's actually quite common to use superglue on cuts... it's better than stitches in most cases... if it wasn't a really super bad cut then it's just fine as long as you keep an eye on it...