I think it's you who needs a lifeguard.

He'll hide the scissors from you and whistle you when you walk outside barefoot.

Just more proof that EVERYTHING tries to kill you in australia.

And we love it here.

Thats because you're a australian. You've adapted to everything trying to kill you. You're probably able to heal quickly and jump 50 feet in the air. Im a New Yorkian. Put a computer in front of me and i can do most anything. Put me in the wild, and i'll either learn to teleport, or be very unhappy.

#18- As a fellow New Yorkian, I officially support this statement.

Well at least you were already on your way to your bumbag.

At least your not one of those sketchy looking people with bum bags. I work in Fast Food, and get them often. They creep me out.

you're*

Well, you made it past hump day- sounds like your on a down hill spiral- time for bubble wrap... Best of luck

All glory to the bumbag.

Being rescued by you seems like a risky affair

Haha. I've managed to rescue/resus people successfully. I only ever seem to hurt myself, not others!

"(I'm a lifeguard)" who completely disregarded their safety with scissors (perhaps safety-scissors?) and then took a barefoot trip, a distance that should've be shorter for a "bumbag".

Still sucks about the wounds, though. It's the worse that they're on your hand and foot.

someone doesn't realize that lifeguards and other people who save lives are humans too and make mistakes all the time.
even being careful you can still injure your body. Hell, I was cutting popsicle sticks one day, thumb away from the blade of the scissors a good amount and I still managed to cut a very large portion out of my thumb when the stick caused the blade to bend.
you also do not know if OP were barefoot or not, they could have been wearing flip flops or some other kind of flimsy shoe. even if they were barefoot they don't deserve to get a piece of glass stuck in their foot. because that shit hurts like a motherfucker and can take months to heal.

Ignoring the fact that lifeguards don't use scissors anyway (except those tiny medical ones), and thus there isn't some protocol on them, it was a complete accident. I didn't go "hey, let's put my fingers directly on the blade and see what happens". I slipped, simple as that.
And yea, I was barefoot. My car was in my driveway, a total of 5 steps away. I'm not putting shoes on for that. Plus I actually think the glass was inside, not out, but that's not the point.
Saving lives doesn't make me immune to accident or injury. It just means I'm doing something good with my life to help others. ✌?️

I like how you felt that you had to justify that the only reason you had a bumbag was because of your job.

Last time I said I had a bumbag, someone got creeped out until I explained why. Hahaha

Maybe you need glasses like the lifeguard in the specsavers ad ;p