Odorama

By wellonheels - 01/10/2019 15:54

Today, at work in a clinic, I went in to clean a treatment room. For some reason, it smelled like rotten meat, which made me gag. I sprayed some air freshener. Now it smells like rotten meat and air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 301

wellonheels tells us more.

wellonheels 7

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 15:37

My first published FML! Yay! Sorry folks, no windows to open, and not enough air freshener at the time to use more on that one room. Sometimes, people just smell. Bad. And that was the case. I think the patient must have had meat juice on his clothes or something. Maybe he works for a butcher. I'll have to ask if he comes in again. In the meantime, I'm having the boss order more (industrial strength) air odor eliminator. I think I'll be needing it if he comes back... *sigh*

Dysfunctional

Leave us alone

Heaven knows I'm miserable now…

By selfesteemloss - 10/08/2013 23:41 - Spain - Barcelona

Today, I was flirting with a cute bartender on my last day in Spain. It was going well until we somehow got onto the topic of how I was recently dumped by my boyfriend of 3 years via Facebook. He spent the next 5 minutes laughing and telling his coworkers how hilarious that was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 140

You deserved it 8 965

By natty - 16/03/2009 16:02 - United States

Today, I went to a party and the cops came to bust the party. I jumped out the window of a second story house in order to avoid getting arrested. I broke my leg in three places and got a concussion. The cops let everyone go with a warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 248

You deserved it 203 093

By ThankfullyNotKickedOut - 26/08/2016 18:17 - United States - Coldwater

Today, I was trying to cook a pizza for lunch at my in-laws. I preheated the oven and took my dog out to go potty. I come back in to find the house filled with smoke, the detector going off, and a fire in the oven. Apparently, my mother-in-law left a tray of glass candle holders in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 358

You deserved it 3 990

Sounds like a catch

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58

Today, the momma's boy I was getting to know cried when I said we should just be friends. He said I was being added to the list of people who treat him like shit and verbally abuse him. He has bad hygiene, musty, wears dirty clothes and I taught him how to properly clean a toilet. But I’m the bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 85

By Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 688

You deserved it 6 719

Pile on

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 89

By mylove - 01/05/2009 02:50 - United States

Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 917

You deserved it 12 743

By mermaidkeels - 08/09/2016 04:54 - United States - Miami

Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 860

You deserved it 1 225

Kinky

By huskynick - 18/06/2020 05:05

Today, it's been two days and my girlfriend still won't talk to me. Why? Because she made out with a mutual friend at a party, and got mad at me for thinking it was hot rather than being jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 597

You deserved it 582

Worked out

By leigh - 18/06/2021 14:01

Today, three days after receiving the vaccine, I was finally able to lift weights again. At the beginning of the workout, I broke my finger. Lifting weights is the one thing that keeps me from being depressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 780

You deserved it 136

By hobbit - 22/05/2013 17:40 - United States - Winthrop

Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 481

You deserved it 13 957

Mr Commitment

By Anonymous - 05/01/2021 05:00

Today, after I caught my (now ex) boyfriend cheating. He told me that it isn't my business if he was seeing other woman, because we didn't had an official relationship. We have been living together in a house we bought, for two years now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 422

You deserved it 117

By "Growlithe1395" - 11/03/2017 16:00

Today, I finally got my hands on a Nintendo Switch. While unboxing it, I left the room to get a pair of scissors. When I came back, most of the box contents were missing and my little brother was standing there. It has been about 5 hours and I still haven't been able to find anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 548

You deserved it 578

By missingcharlie - 17/08/2009 02:45 - United States

Today, in the middle of having sex with my boyfriend, instead of saying something sexy, he decided to tell me that the bowling alley had a new air hockey table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 030

You deserved it 5 673

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 680

You deserved it 13 617

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 07:34 - United States

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 873

You deserved it 3 640

By BirthdayTeeth - 16/06/2009 11:14 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my 18th birthday. I got one thing: a fancy electric toothbrush from my little sister. I would say I'm happy to have something rather than nothing, except, for as long as the toothbrush works, there will be a Hannah Montana concert going on in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 946

You deserved it 4 237

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 040

You deserved it 11 412

By Kalaina - 25/10/2009 04:36 - France

Today, I received a three-time forwarded message which I thought would turn out to be a random chain message. Turns out my boyfriend didn't want to send me the "break-up text" himself and figured it would get to me eventually after sending it to all my best friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 467

You deserved it 2 508

By a - 21/05/2009 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 863

You deserved it 49 547

By Sam - 18/01/2010 17:05 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 321

You deserved it 2 993

By SunshineX7 - 09/10/2013 04:22 - United States - Springfield

Today, I got so self-conscious about weight gain that I got paranoid about how much my Castle Crashers character was eating to heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 838

You deserved it 9 613

By poop_mcqueen - 30/07/2009 06:51 - United States

Today, I bought a cool new pair of sunglasses. I wore them today, and all day I kept getting comments about how much I looked like Ozzy Osbourne and John Lennon. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 362

You deserved it 13 290

By you - 30/10/2012 19:46 - United Kingdom

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 729

You deserved it 78 745

By Ren - 24/02/2009 10:37 - United States

Today, I applied for a job in an Italian restaurant. Ideally I wanted to be a hostess rather than a waitress, and I told the manager as much. His response? "No no no. Hostess no good for you. We leave that to the pretty girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 576

You deserved it 4 313

By geewhy - 26/12/2012 21:20 - United States - South Park

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 590

You deserved it 5 410

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 703

You deserved it 10 374

By smalltownkid - 01/03/2015 23:22 - United States - Houston

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 2 958

By Username - 20/10/2010 18:08 - France

Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 596

You deserved it 3 475

By latter - 24/09/2013 00:05 - United States - Middle River

Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 226

You deserved it 3 294

By Upset - 03/02/2016 18:14 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 321

You deserved it 5 026

Authentification required

By Anonymous - 06/08/2021 10:01

Today, after registering my cellphone as my secondary authentication device for my campus account, it died for good. Despite still being logged in, most of my college's services are now locked behind a code sent to my unresponsive phone, including the ability to register any new authentication devices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 106

By Anonymous - 27/10/2011 15:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. The only way I could have gotten pregnant is from having gotten drunk and sleeping with my ex. We broke up because I didn't want children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 805

You deserved it 54 704

Who you gonna call?

By Anonymous - 17/10/2020 02:02

Today, I couldn't enter my workplace because I haven't gotten the new keycard yet. I ended up having to wait outside for close to an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 904

You deserved it 126

By i tried so hard - 08/01/2016 15:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I tried really hard for once on an assignment. I was told it was my worst work yet and that I may as well have turned nothing in at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 762

You deserved it 2 211

By poorman - 09/10/2009 23:22 - Canada

Today, my mother, who religiously checks her bank account after every purchase, then shreds her receipts, got fed up with me not doing the same. So she shredded all my piled up receipts. These include the 100s of dollars I had spent for my work, which I need the receipts to get reimbursed for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 219

You deserved it 3 303

By wtfdad - 16/11/2014 05:29 - United States - Little Silver

Today, my husband and I told my parents I was pregnant with my first child. The only thing my father did was look at my husband and tell him his pull out game was weak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 140

You deserved it 4 220

By Anonymous - 29/12/2013 21:04 - United States - Bolingbrook

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 883

You deserved it 3 981

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 25/12/2020 19:58

Today, my partner got mad at me for forgetting to turn off the bedroom light when coming back from brushing my teeth, and has chosen to sleep in our spare bedroom over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 15:06 - United States

Today, the boy I've liked for the past 8 years asked me out and then dumped me when he realized that I was taller than he was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 493

You deserved it 3 367

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Top comments

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 30 September 2019 17:56

You didn't spray enough freshener. Don't skimp -- your employer is the one paying for the air freshener. Spray that shit until it's overwhelming! It's easier than cleaning up the rotten meat.

jbuckets_404 38

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 22:05

You may need to wash n' wipe everything in the room including floor, ceiling, and walls w/ strong soap....

Comments

RichardPencil 30

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Monday 30 September 2019 17:56

You didn't spray enough freshener. Don't skimp -- your employer is the one paying for the air freshener. Spray that shit until it's overwhelming! It's easier than cleaning up the rotten meat.

Wolfie333 8

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Monday 25 November 2019 0:58

You can't clean up rotten 🍖 with aerosol spray...it may take care of the smell but the rotten 🍖 is still there to ROT❗I work in a restaurant and a gentleman came in a while back with his caregiver, he was in a wheelchair. He REEKED of urine❗❗❗ We had to clear out 3 sections to not seat people near him. It was awful, I felt soooo bad for him💯❗❗ We are not allowed to say anything. Just smile and serve.

i8cake 12

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Monday 30 September 2019 19:29

I feel like this is probably a regular occurrence. like the person above, just do your job and spray that shit down!

TomeDr 23

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Tuesday 1 October 2019 4:50

Air fresheners just toss a bunch of scents into the air and are almost completely pointless. If the room smelled that bad, there must have been something seriously stinky that needed to be cleaned or removed. Adding MORE air freshener will only add to the stink. You’re better off cleaning and then opening the door and windows to air it out properly.