Embarrassing, Phobias and Work: Get it off!

Get it off!

By chocofreak - 10/05/2009 10:23 - United States

Today, I work at a chocolate factory on the sanitation shift. I was under a machine cleaning and a spider fell on me. I started freaking out and a coworker thought I got caught in the moving parts and frantically pulled me out and alerted my boss. Turns out it was just a piece of caramel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 221

You deserved it 44 956

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/11/2018 12:00

Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 411

You deserved it 488

By buttercup92 - 31/05/2016 03:45 - United States - San Antonio

Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 945

You deserved it 1 160

The ruling class wins again

By jcrb - 03/09/2021 10:59

Today, someone had been stealing my brownie at work every day, so I sprinkled cocolax on one and waited to find out who the culprit was. Turns out it was my manager. Needless to say, I'm fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 340

You deserved it 169

Happy meal

By ollierocks96 - 17/12/2009 21:43 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 549

You deserved it 3 023

By mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 851

You deserved it 9 137

By mcmanager - 11/08/2014 14:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 769

You deserved it 3 608

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 150

By Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 377

You deserved it 6 723

By TexasGirl24 - 10/09/2016 12:51 - United States - Houston

Today, I was making a shake at work when the cup fell off the blender. I went to catch it, and instead caught the teeth of the still-spinning mixer. When my hand was still bleeding five minutes later, my supervisor told me to clock out until it stopped. I lost money for getting hurt on the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 631

You deserved it 1 216

By conley19 - 15/09/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, at work a little girl wanted a slushie. Instead of pushing the tab in, she lifted it up and broke the machine, spilling slushie all over the floor. I was the only one working, so I had to clean it all up. I spent the rest of my shift covered in red slushie and smelling like cherry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 243

You deserved it 4 800

ilikesexyparties 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:12

aw, at least you have a sweet coworker

MmmHotWaffles 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:14

so..is the caramel alright?

Comments

Compwiz1993 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:04

Wow that sucks... I am now resisting the urge to yell out "first" because I hate it when people do that too.

amerrah 4

Wednesday 3 March 2010 6:29

I wish I worked at a chocolate factory :)

xxxbooxxx 16

Thursday 22 July 2010 10:05

me too :)

amoscore 5

Monday 12 September 2011 10:51

You should let Charlie know too.

cocknblock 0

Wednesday 14 September 2011 5:31

Tell Willie I said Hi!

BauerMegan 31

Sunday 2 June 2013 21:51

How do you mistake caramel for a spider?

ohhhhshizzz 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:07

#1: You just acknowledged that you were first. Well, wow. ROFL, that is hilarious.

BeanieBaby 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:10

sucks 4U

ilikesexyparties 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:12

aw, at least you have a sweet coworker

Afghanee666 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:13

YDI for not thanking Allah!

MmmHotWaffles 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:14

so..is the caramel alright?

Headcase 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:16

You have the best job ever!!!!

b2redneck 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:25

wtf? #5 What is up with you and all your Taliban and Allah comments? Anyways, this sounds eerily similar to crap I've pulled in the past!

daprnena4lyfe 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:30

ha ur an idiot LOL look next time instead of jumping to conclusions that a bug fell on you LOL

NorfolkDude 2

Sunday 10 May 2009 16:31

Stop acting like a freaking pussy, and next time just say, "Hmm, something fell on me" then look. Don't act like a freaking gorilla in the mist.

Jak0p 25

Tuesday 14 April 2015 20:08

actually I can feel the pain pretty good. spiders are scary so I definitely would freak out, too.

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 74

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 545

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 14 371

You deserved it 42 540

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

Today, my wife of 21 years fell asleep while we were about to have sex for the eighth time this month. Turns out she can't and won't have sex with me because she has hickies all over her tits and she'd consider it cheating on her new boyfriend, who she just met. I tried to jack off but she fell asleep on my penis, and that was that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 214

Today, I was looking at my wedding photos. The photographer moved onto the "candid" shots and thought it would be cute to have pics of us making out at the reception. I have blonde hair. The girl in the picture did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 384

You deserved it 3 065

Today, I approached the girl I like, hoping to ask her out. Just as I strode up to her, she excused herself as quickly as she could. I then realized I'd forgotten to zip up my pants after going to the bathroom minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 772

You deserved it 23 366

Today, I went for lunch at a Chinese restaurant near my home that I have never eaten at before. It was so good I went back tonight for more, and the restaurant has been boarded up. It is closed due to food contamination. Inspections happened today. I ate contaminated food for lunch today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 940

You deserved it 4 329