Today, I met a really nice girl at a club. One thing led to another, and she told me to meet her out front in 5 minutes. I was so drunk that I stumbled into the restroom instead, then curled up on the floor crying in despair when I realized my mistake. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I went out and got very drunk. I talked to a girl and some other people. As the girl left, someone told me to follow her as she didn't seem to know where she was going. As a drunk, socially inept idiot, I did so for about 20 seconds, only for someone to point me out to her and quickly guide her away. Then I lost like £700. FML
Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML
Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML
Today, I got shitfaced at a club. A cute girl I'd met earlier in the evening offered to drive me home in my car and spend the night with me. She crashed my car and did a runner before the cops showed up. They wouldn't believe my story. I now have a wrecked car and a DUI. FML
Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
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Top comments
thatgirl1299 11
Smooth move
lemonzone25 17
You couldn't have just turned around and went outside instead?
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Comments (81)
thatgirl1299 11
Smooth move
MrsDruidess 23
on the plus side, at least he didn't show up with whiskey dick and fail. Missing out is better than failing out ;-)
thatgirl1299 11
You really should only reply if it has something to do with the one you replied to
bessiemay01 5
I have no sarcastic comment. I just feel bad for you OP. FYL
happle 21
I don't know if I feel sorry for him or not. He just seems kinda pathetic. :/
littlem91 29
I feel bad for the girl who thinks a drunken idiot even stands her up!
blinked_281 29
he's probably better off. any chick that will sleep with a guy drunk off his ass would probably give him something more than a good time
fieldhockeygal97 19
Niiiice *sarcasm*
reymon8823 24
Ummm yeah I've got nothing
ChenEighty 20
Thanks for putting your nothing into a pointless comment.
SoliDSt33L 33
What was the point of your comment, #4? If you have something relevant and comment-worthy (helpful to OP, for example), you post it. Yes, I realize the slight bit of irony of my comment. That sucks, OP, and good luck. I won't be an asshole and post something sarcastic.
reymon8823 24
Lmap I meant i have nothing as in I've done something similar to this just didn't cry about it forgot what she looked like cuz i was so obliviated and walked right past her i had forgotten what she looked like until she messaged me on Facebook
hcollins1 18
Are you 'obliviated' now, 47?
thatgirl1299 11
Then keep your nothing to yourself!
Nyx_fml 23
If you had gone into the ladies' room, then it would sound like something out of a sitcom.
Zebediabolical 45
I concur. That's about the only way this would be better.
lemonzone25 17
You couldn't have just turned around and went outside instead?
ryanthecheeseguy 18
He was drunk.
RodzillaX 30
My first reaction to anything ever, is always cry.
tukies 28
Being that drunk, he probably used all his effort just to make it to the bathroom. Walking is a hard task lol
seeoseek 18
I was thinking the very same thing...whoops this is the bathroom wtf?
CocaColaPepsi 13
Nice girls don't sleep with very drunk guys they just met a t a club
cbroady0529 9
My knee jerk reaction was the same thing, then I realized how judgemental that was and kept my pie hole shut.
AnOriginalName 19
But are nice girls and nice guys allowed to meet at a bar and then start dating after that?
CocaColaPepsi 13
Its really not that judgmental, if the guy was sober and they were just talking and started dating that's fine, but if she was about to sleep with a drunk guy, she's not q bad person but she's not a "nice", girl.
RodzillaX 30
Hate to break it to ya, but the world is lacking on "nice" people nowadays.
CocaColaPepsi 13
it doesn't matter if the world is "lacking" in nice people (which it isn't, people just focus on the bad things on the world,) either way she's not a nice girl , but not necessarily a bad person either
wallandpiece 16
Why can't she be nice if she meets people in clubs? What on earth is wrong with talking to someone in a club and liking them? I wonder if your comment would have been the same if the genders had been swapped.
CocaColaPepsi 13
I'm a girl, so why would my opinion change if I was a guy saying a girl was wrong? an if you actually read my comment I specifically said that she doesn't know specifically to be bad person she just not a "nice" girl
CocaColaPepsi 13
and also he was drunk, she wasn't just talking to him
megstiel 16
Verrrrrry smooth.
rebelbelle 17
I feel sorrier for the girl
shepette 14
Why didn't you just go outside when you realised?
BriCx 8
Because drunks are always capable of clear thought.
shepette 14
Well he was capable enough to realise he was in the bathroom