Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
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Top comments
whitedw 0
lol......well at least he didnt yell some other girl's name but still fyl
indoorsy 3
Now I anin't saying she's a gold digger...
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Comments (119)
fsamslife92 8
This just ruined your whole life, didn't it?
chels1994 11
That's not so bad... I think its funny (:
albsure23 3
Lol well that sounds about right!
brownlace 0
Oh…
gracehi 33
Maybe I'm WAY off base here, but I got the impression that he must sleep with a lot of prostitutes and forgot he was with his wife, still being asleep and all. I mean, prostitutes are all about the money.
taerts 9
You should just get him a cash pillow so he can hug it when he sleeps.
DaddyLongStroke 1
High maintenance are we?
ArentWeAll 4
At least he didn't yell Brittany!
needsagf14 12
Once my dad was dreaming and he was singing a little song so my mom cuddled with him, then he went "RAAAAAAAARRR!!!!!"
MariJ82 14
What's his is yours. You'd think he'd figure it out by now :)