Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML
Today, I discovered that I sometimes talk in my sleep. After spending an amazing, perfectly romantic night with my boyfriend, I woke up to him telling me to leave. I have no idea what I could have said. He still won't talk to me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, my fiancé started yelling gibberish in his sleep. When I tried to wake him, he punched me square in the face. FML
Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML
Today, I dreamt that the fabric and pattern I was working on were sliding off the table so I quickly reached to grab it, effectively driving my fingers into my husband's eyes. Fuck his life too. FML
Today, while in bed, I tried to explain how overworked and unappreciated I feel doing all the housework to my fiancé. It was only when I'd finished my long rant that I realized he had been asleep almost the whole time. FML
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Top comments
whitedw 0
lol......well at least he didnt yell some other girl's name but still fyl
indoorsy 3
Now I anin't saying she's a gold digger...
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Comments (119)
Glidefedt 6
Sounds like something I'd do.
idontknowanythin_fml 5
Awesome, I moderated this post
valadi 1
He wasn't dreaming
Crazberry 5
Try having your very strong, 6'5'' boyfriend pull you into a leghold at 5:00 in the morning because he was fighting a guy in his sleep.
krs7g4 8
Mine won't let me get out of bed. If I have to pee I have to wake him up. I feel bad about it, but as soon as I move he tightens his grip and I can't get him off. I can't wait until we get a queen sized bed. I need some space!
Samafilbeit 11
aww! i miss nights like that!!
shaka_Z_0929007 10
Reading this just makes me feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry. But next time, make sure he cuddles you.
tattoofano 0
smart husband
RedneckAngel 11
Just for spite, make him some "silver dollar pancakes" for breakfast, lol.
lauraaaaaa_fml 7
At least he didn't do what my boyfriend did as I tried to snuggle, which was push me out of bed, causing me to smack my head on a hardwood floor. He didn't even wake up.
irishpotatoes 5
That really isn't an FML because nothing bad happened. So no your life doesn't suck. Sorry sweetie it's the truth.