Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
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Top comments
raysmith121 10
This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.
MDoremis 38
You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.
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Comments (136)
Xion0014 20
Why can't you just tell him what he sees in **** isn't really what a lot of women, especially you, like.
DedeleMan 21
NEVER. FAKE. AN ******. Teach him instead, that way both of you might get something out of it
JamisonB98 16
I bet that girl in your profile pic has had to fake one. Preach to her not the OP
Kurby14 21
just work it out with him and tell him what you like. if he cares, he'll listen. do the same for him too :)
imshadyxo 25
I can't believe he really thought they happen that fast.. But I guess it was his first time so
Miss_Mandi 29
It's not hard to communicate what you want sexually! Just do it!
Shamandalie89 32
YDI. He may be ignorant, but faking is the worst thing you could have done. It will be better for both of you if you just talk to him about your likes and dislikes. Teach him, it might be fun. With your help, he might even turn into "some kind of sex god" ;)
townailz 16
Now every time he's going to do this because he thinks it worked the first time
wondermoose 28
always try to be honest in bed, there will be no improvement if he thinks he's doing good
RandKP 21
Guys stick with what works, and he thinks this actually works. You need to sit him down, come clean (no pun intended) and let him know what actually does work for you (which you should have done BEFORE you let him touch you sexually). Otherwise this will be the joke you call your sex life while you're dating him. YDI
MandieL 27
Sex and foreplay is all about communication. No point in making him think he is any good when he is not. He needs practice and guidance, and as his partner, you need to help him otherwise you are just setting him, and yourself, up for a horribly unsatisfying sex life.