Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
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Top comments
raysmith121 10
This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.
MDoremis 38
You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.
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Comments (136)
CaptainFluffyPaw 19
Faking an ****** helps no one.
SwedenSour 1
Sorry but YDI for lying.
suumbuum 13
this is so sad lmao
luckless_n_fl 2
I stupidly did that with my husband. Best thing is to be totally honest.
PinkWalls 12
He literally beat the pussy up. Be prepared to get that all the time because you weren't honest about how it felt.
Uuuuxc 7
YDI for not being honest. Was it easier to fake ****** or to just say that's not what u like
rustybucket 24
If it's his first time you can't really expect him to know what to do. Faking it doesn't do anything good for either of you. Tell him what you like and then you might be able to have a real ******.
Candied_person 13
Don't lie in a relation ship under any circumstances
CuteKoalaGirl 18
That's when you should have grabbed his hand and told him what feels good. YDI for faking it and creating that monster.
fabcade 14
you really messed up. you should have guided him in what you liked and gave instruction.