Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
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Top comments
raysmith121 10
This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.
MDoremis 38
You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.
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Comments (136)
AlysoninAlaska 19
Sometimes faking it is a lot easier than the fight that happens when you just try to instruct and help. Some guys take the suggestions and are grateful for them, but others just get angry and feel their "manhood" is challenged. Faking it is just easier sometimes.
MandieL 27
Turning a blind eye to your partner cheating is easier too. Don't want to risk the anger it may cause him to have... If they are that immature in their relationship that they can't deal with, and work out, a little argument (if his man feels get hurt), then they should be waiting to be that intimate. This is why there are so many young men out there who have egos the size of a skyscraper, they think they are sex gods because the woman fakes it to avoid a possible awkward conversation.
jezka374 15
Tell him you lied... Slapping our vaginas is not something most chicks are into... Get him to give you an actual ****** by teaching him what to do.
sophiehelen 32
This is COMPLETELY your fault. Not his bad technique but not telling him! Damn girl, don't be a wimp and teach! also tell him to stop watching so much ****
mosquito19 14
be ready for more ******-slapping action thingy
writerchic85 26
He will never learn now
LegionRapier61 8
Everyone has a first time... and we all need a point in the right direction. You should have given him a couple of suggestions.
fordneagles 34
For ****'s sake. USE. YOUR. WORDS.
snazzymcwho 21
YDI! Don't fake it to soothe his ego! That's bullshit! Tell him to stop them show him how it's done for pete's sake!
Hunkapoo 19
YDI, now he's going to think that's how to get you to ******, and do it again. next time instruct him to do someing that actually turns you on.
MrKilgore 14
and this is case and point as to why so many people suck at sex.