Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered, "Cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
Today, I tried faking an orgasm for the first time, because I thought it would be sexy for my boyfriend. He stopped to ask me if I was okay. I guess I'm not good at faking it. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, my boyfriend was pleasuring me with his hands. After two years of being together, he was finally about to make me orgasm for the first time by himself. Just as I was reaching my peak, he orgasmed at the thought of finishing me off and stopped. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. It was amazing, besides for the fact I barely felt him. I pretty much faked the entire thing. FML
Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating. FML
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Top comments
raysmith121 10
This really is your fault. You should instruct him and guide him.
MDoremis 38
You kind of deserved that. There's no point in lying to save someone's feelings and make yourself miserable.
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Comments (136)
maydayyparade 27
Congrats. That could not have been worded better XD
thesinginguy 18
Never fake. It can hurt the relationship a lot more than you think you'd hurt it by telling him what to do.
PL51S1NT4R51MS 3
Should have tell him that you didn't like it.
jtsmommy 11
Never fake it. Especially with someone who is inexperienced. How are they ever going to learn to please you, or any one else?
consumer1234567 4
that'll totally fix your problem. instead of educating him and letting him know what would be better thus making you both enjoy it and not making him fast believe what he did was correct. you arrogant bastard
Tsula1994 13
he has never done it so telling him he is doing it wrong is the appropriate reaction and then showing him the right thing to do. All you are doing by "protecting" his feelings is giving yourself bad sex and a future break up so he can find another girl and do the same. Don't let this become a vicious cycle.
dracolich 27
I think your partner is watching too much ****. Someone should tell him that's all mostly fake.
Queen_of_Night 20
It sucks to be you OP. Take it from me, he now thinks you liked that and now he will do that every time. I learned that the hard way too. Next time be honest.
j_inks23 19
You done goofed
shinikageWolf 15
I'm a gay man and even I know you don't slap a ****** to get her off. Unless she's a sex freak and enjoys ****** slapping.