Miscellaneous: No cussing - FML

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 126

You deserved it 35 012

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 164

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 35 606

By siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 582

You deserved it 3 943

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 122

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 514

You deserved it 7 461

Not your day, is it?

By hiheyaiden - 03/03/2022 23:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mom kept swearing and punished me while I was in an online lesson. I almost got punished by the teacher as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 87

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 429

You deserved it 10 162

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 117

By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 396

You deserved it 9 126

By minikat - 02/06/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 106

You deserved it 258

Next

Top comments

SwordSlasher 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:09

Fail parents -_-

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:10

Try "Heck!" or if really moved "Fiddlesticks!"

Comments

Guairdean 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:32

If you're 19 and can't stand up for yourself, you deserved it. Grow a pair anrd let them know that there are limits to what you will tolerate. Either that, or resign yourself to being 12 years old and under their thumbs for the rest of your life.

artsci10 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:34

time to move out buddy if you're 19 and living there by choice, you've got no one to blame but yourself

PrincessesCrown 17

Friday 24 June 2011 0:31

Well my brother will be 18 today and is going to be going into his senior year. He has never flunked a grade he just started kindergarten late due to his summer birthday. So next summer he'll be 19 and just starting college so it could just be their summer before their first year if college.

blahblah17 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:36

hahaha. #8s idea!!!! it only makes sense!!!

nando92 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:36

wow and i curse at my parents all the time... well not bad things more like funny things and they laugh with me....

shaPOW 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:38

if you're 19, surely you know your parents strongly disapprove of cursing. i'm not saying it's reasonable of them, but shouldn't you know their rules by now?

gabeepicfails 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:46

kill your parents .

Why_Me77 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:47

My folks did that when I was little...that's when I discovered I was very allergic to Lever 2000 soap =(. Yay swollen mouth!

fuckedhislife 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:47

Wow. This sucks you have really up-tight parents/ Oh. I have been touched by his noodley appendage also

splat_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:50

Hell is actually the name of a place close to the city I've been living in for quite a while. :D

122vanessa122 5

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:51

lmfao. over protective muchh ? ;)

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The Top

Today, I went on a first date. It started out OK, but halfway through he began "debating" me, talking just like Ben Shapiro. I thought he was joking, or at least satirising the worst way you could talk during a date. I was wrong; he was serious. I'm still not sure what set him off, but I couldn't get a word in edgeways in after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 211

You deserved it 261

Today, I had a softball team dinner, and I was sitting with a bunch of girls who were talking about how far they've gone with guys. One girl goes, "I must be the least experienced one here, I've never even kissed a guy!" Surprised, I said, "Me too!" and high-fived her. She was joking. I wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 562

You deserved it 9 847

The Top

Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he can get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 109

You deserved it 1 721

Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 1 125

Today, my housemate blew chunks all over the freshly-painted walls in the bathroom. The paint was still wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 203

You deserved it 380

Today, my dad went on a rant about how police are scum, timewasters, corrupt arseholes, and a waste of taxpayer money. I’m a police officer, and I’d had to pull him over because he was swerving all over the road while getting road head from a woman who was not my mother, to whom he is still married to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 164

Today, my parents met my girlfriend for the first time and cooked us dinner. After, I was helping clean up in the kitchen and my dad says to me, "Don't worry, you have to slay a couple of dragons before you get to the princess." and winks at me. She heard. I was going to propose to her tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 953

You deserved it 3 865

Today, I walked in on my mom taking nude pictures of herself in the kitchen, wearing just a Santa hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 893

You deserved it 324