Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he can get me lunch...

By Dmessmer1 - 5/6/2016 08:37 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I gave my dad $40 and asked him if he can get me lunch on his way back home. Long story short he came back empty handed telling me it was my fault for trusting him with McNuggets. FML

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Miscellaneous

Proactive

All in the family

Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

By BeachBummer - 21/4/2018 19:00

Today, I’ve been up since 5am getting everything ready for the beach. This is the first nice weekend we’ve had this season. I have a dressed toddler asleep on the couch and grown ass man that refuses to get out of bed. Today it’s 80 degrees. Next weekend is 50 degrees. FML

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By SpeakerPhone - 14/11/2009 17:31 - France

Today, in a big meeting, my secretary calls me saying that I have an important call waiting. I put the call through. It was my beautician, confirming my appointment to get rid of an ingrown hair. I hurriedly confirm and hang up to see everyone in the room giggling. The speaker phone was on. FML

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By Ramb0 - 21/12/2019 01:00 - United Kingdom - Christchurch

By singing

Today, I was headbanging so hard to a song in the shower that I hit my head on the wall and got a concussion. I'm now in hospital. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2010 17:07 - United Kingdom

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

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By Mr. Unlucky - 27/5/2018 19:30 - United States - Woodbridge

Anti-Dad

Today, after suffering a severe brain injury and receiving a large amount of money from the lawsuit for physical and mental rehab, I found out that my dad stole it all and spent it on himself. FML

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By dumbwifehappylife - 12/2/2014 01:37 - United States - Woodbine

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/11/2017 05:00

Today, my little sister, who's still in high school, proved beyond a doubt she's better at my computer repair job than I am. She proved it in front of my customers and my manager, who brushed me aside and offered her a job as soon as she graduates. FML

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By MaydayManic - 10/8/2011 13:11 - United States

Today, I finally went to my boyfriend's house to meet his family. When they were giving me a tour of the house, I noticed a Nazi flag on my boyfriend's bedroom door. FML

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By WTF - 15/10/2015 04:43 - United States - Bloomington

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend because she wanted to be with a man who has an income and a stable career. We are seniors in college and I accepted a really good job offer which I start once I graduate, which she knows about. She dumped me for a drug dealer. FML

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By purged - 8/6/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2009 20:05 - United States

Today, we had bingo. Three rounds into it a group behind me started to yell, "BINGO, BINGO!". I looked around and saw no one was coming to verify that they had a bingo, so I turned around and said "Stand up." The girl was a midget, she was standing up. FML

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By AuraOfJustice - 12/3/2011 14:43 - United States

Today, I was texting a girl I like. Every message she sent came ten minutes after I sent her a message. When I told her "I've to go", she responded almost instantly with an "Ok, bye". FML

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By Matt - 30/4/2019 02:00

Today, I got a call saying I was successful in my interview to be a pizza delivery driver. As I picked up my contract and got in my car, I reversed sideways into a pole and ripped off my front bumper. The manager came out and helped jam the bumper in so I could make it home. FML

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By juliet - 6/4/2009 04:39 - Canada

Today, my theatre teacher made me go on stage even though I had a violent stomach flu. My understudies were unreachable, and she threatened to fail me if I did not perform. Halfway through the first act, I vomited on the first row. She failed me for letting the cast down. FML

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By dinosaurman - 7/10/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/12/2012 17:12 - United States

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

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By FrozenAnonymus - 14/7/2016 18:05 - Czech Republic - Prague

Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML

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By Marcella_03 - 5/12/2009 13:22 - United Kingdom

Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML

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By veggieluver - 16/1/2013 00:58 - United States - Scarsdale

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/12/2016 14:53

Today, during sex, I somehow sneezed hard enough to really hurt my neck and shoulder. But don't worry, writhing in pain doesn't ruin the mood. My boyfriend just kept going. FML

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By nickyboy - 2/12/2010 17:02 - Australia

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

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By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 14:14 - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

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By eiregal2 - 15/4/2020 23:00 - Ireland - Cork

Butterfingers

Today, I somehow managed to slice open my thumb. The dangerous weapon that caused this to happen? Velcro. FML

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By wtf - 26/8/2012 05:03 - New Zealand - Invercargill

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by picture, during a game of Draw Something. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/11/2015 02:34 - United States - Yellow Springs

Today, my friend explained that his internship was clearly worse than mine because he got yelled at by clients. One of my clients ripped out my hair. FML

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By Teste - 15/7/2015 10:25 - Spain

Today, I passed by a cute girl who was staring intensely at me. When I glanced in her direction, she smiled. Taking this as a positive sign, I approached her. Before I could say anything, she handed me a flyer explaining the benefits of STD testing. Apparently, I look like I need it. FML

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By Insanity - 9/4/2015 05:28 - France - La Poste

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

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By savvylady - 18/6/2009 04:52 - United States

Today, I was invited out to a date by my ex-boyfriend. He seemed really excited to reconnect and kept holding my hand and complimenting how I looked. Out of nowhere a girl runs up to him screaming. It was his current girlfriend, he was using me to make her jealous. FML

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By Anonymous - 24/9/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, I told my dad that I have a very serious drinking problem and that I need to go to rehab because I can't stop on my own. He told me that I just need to make new friends and suggested I join a sorority. FML

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By Haley. - 26/3/2010 23:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have intercourse for the first time. One minute into it, he got nervous and farted. What's worse is that his fart scared him, and he asked "What was that?" FML

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By oh.geez - 5/2/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

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By dumb dancer - 5/12/2014 01:54 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

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By Anonymous - 1/10/2009 09:42 - United States

Today, my friends and I noticed that people, no matter what stereotype, pretty much all have the same type of friends: the mean one, the funny one, etc... and started naming off the people in our group who fit into those personallities. We got to the token fat one, everyone looked at me and stopped talking. FML

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By crossl17 - 12/11/2018 15:30

Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn’t starting because i never had it in park. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/4/2013 04:07 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I was very worried about my girlfriend of two years. She has recently moved into her apartment, and I hadn't heard from her for four days. Don't worry, though, she's fine. According to her mother's Facebook, she moved in with her old boyfriend. FML

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By KeepinItInTheFamily - 28/10/2018 05:00

Today, my future sister-in-law told me that not only will I have to host her bachelorette party at my new, still under construction house, but she has also booked a sex consultant to come and give a toy presentation. There's a $350 minimum spend. Only 5 people are coming, 4 of which are family. FML

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By Alison - 10/3/2012 22:48 - United States

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

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By Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

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By Animal_aide - 7/1/2010 18:42 - Canada

Today, I got my car back from the repair shop. After paying $400 for them to fix the scratches on the driver's side door, some one decided to key both sides of my car while I was on my lunch break from work. FML

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By ellabellabooboo - 22/3/2015 02:27 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I mentioned to my mum that one of my friends is pregnant. She decided I was lying, that I'm the one who's actually pregnant, and that I'm going to get checked out by a doctor. FML

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Top comments

By NYGiants1925 | 22

#6621758 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:01

$40 for McDonald's!?

By InfiniteSunshine | 32

#6621741 - Sunday 5 June 2016 18:42

Geez, his lack of impulse control is not your fault. Tell him he needs to pay you the money back. You gave him YOUR money to get him to do you a favour, he failed at that favour, so now he needs to reimburse you.

Comments

By Googolman | 29

#6621738 - Sunday 5 June 2016 18:39

I'm wondering how he managed to spend $40 on McNuggets.

ohSNAPyall | 26

#6621740 - Sunday 5 June 2016 18:40

I'm wondering how he managed to eat $40 of McNuggets.

By InfiniteSunshine | 32

#6621741 - Sunday 5 June 2016 18:42

By NYGiants1925 | 22

#6621758 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:01

$40 for McDonald's!?

Catdragon | 40

#6621961 - Monday 6 June 2016 0:13

You can get 40 nuggets for $10. maybe the guy got $40 worth of nuggets?

yerawizardlizzy | 27

#6621975 - Monday 6 June 2016 0:41

$40 for any lunch seems too much.

trucker2 | 33

#6622013 - Monday 6 June 2016 1:54

I'm just guessing that $40 was for both your lunches

pyrestriker | 6

#6623332 - Wednesday 8 June 2016 5:43

50pc nuggets is $10.This is enough for 200 nuggets.

By crudeandrudeguy | 29

#6621767 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:12

Who can resist those all white meat crunchy chicken nuggets?

TMWhisp | 22

#6621772 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:19

Mm, I know right? The sweet flavoring of ammonia and cancer. So yummy!

SixthSinEnvy | 39

#6621827 - Sunday 5 June 2016 20:07

Wendy's nuggets, yes. Those are heaven. McDonald's nuggets, bleh. They're always so crispy to the point they're almost dry.

Mauskau | 35

#6621984 - Monday 6 June 2016 1:01

People that would rather eat a proper chicken breast than anything deep fried and processed?

babs22291 | 15

#6622070 - Monday 6 June 2016 4:44

They smell lime a movie theatre. Have you picked one up and smelled..???

Mr_Jah | 9

#6622268 - Monday 6 June 2016 13:41

You do realize mcdonalds chicken nuggets are leftovers from Tyson chicken. All the WORST parts of a chicken (Literally).

By TisButAScratch | 10

#6621769 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:17

I honestly don't blame him

By vcapelo | 19

#6621774 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:20

Junkfood shouldn't be considered lunch!

iiTzNeeNerz | 26

#6621778 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:24

That is not the point of this FML.

riahlum | 12

#6621782 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:28

Not everyone has time to prepare a lunch, and every once in a while it won't kill you. This fml went over your head.

bretzeller | 13

#6621815 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:53

Go have a good cry if you're afraid of chicken nuggets. They won't kill you.

By rockeditionbarbi | 14

#6621788 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:31

Who spends $40 on McNuggets??

By Pimpfromdowntown | 11

#6621789 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:31

if you had 40 dollars why not order pizza?

By Doctor_HooLock | 10

#6621790 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:32

That's like 160 nuggets...

Helldemon | 32

#6621796 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:39

When I worked at McD I had two guy's come in and give me around 70 dollars and they told me they wanted all Nuggets with it. Think it was 260 nuggets total.

By mclovin22897 | 15

#6621811 - Sunday 5 June 2016 19:53

how many ncnuggets did you want?