Today, my dad went on a rant about how police are scum, timewasters, corrupt arseholes, and a waste of taxpayer money. I’m a police officer, and I’d had to pull him over because he was swerving all over the road while getting road head from a woman who was not my mother, to whom he is still married to. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML
Today, my husband and I were pulled over by a cop. He was still angry from our earlier argument over his constant freeloading, and when the cop told him we'd been doing 75 in a 55, he retorted, "Yeah? I did 75 in your mom last night, fuzzball." One more ticket I have to pay for. FML
Today, my dad was driving me home and was angrily explaining how my boyfriend was a bad influence and that he was hanging out with the wrong crowd. After finally convincing him to give him another chance, we stopped at a traffic light just in time to see my boyfriend being chased by police. FML
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML
Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML
Today, a policeman pulled me over and proceeded to flirt with me. After I had rejected him, he gave me a ticket for "not paying attention to the road". FML
Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML
Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML
Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML
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Top comments
Brightside86 31
What an idiot for getting roadhead on a street busy enough to have cops. That's what road trips in the middle or nowhere are for.
IHaveThePower 18
Take the body cam footage to your boss and ask for a raise.
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Comments (6)
Chazzster 32
I truly hope you no longer live with A-hole Dad! … I also hope you gave him the ticket he deserved for reckless driving… But stay out of the situation between Mom and Dad - That’s a minefield with no good options except keeping the information to yourself.
RichardPencil 32
Too many "to's" in your last clause. --Signed, The Grammar Police.
Headlock912 2
I hope you threw the book at him, and his mistress. Really sorry to hear about this OP
Brightside86 31
What an idiot for getting roadhead on a street busy enough to have cops. That's what road trips in the middle or nowhere are for.
IHaveThePower 18
Take the body cam footage to your boss and ask for a raise.
ODBeefalo 10
while you don't want to be the one to tell your mother about the cheating... it is way worse if she finds out and you know about it beforehand. you want to not be a shitty cop, don't be a shitty person and do the morally correct thing, tell your mother. All options here suck, but the decision is a clear right and wrong.