Proportional response - FML

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 163

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Same thing different taste

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 121

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 122

You deserved it 35 012

Priorities

By elly - 08/04/2021 14:00

Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 171

By rosmaizura - 01/10/2010 07:39 - Malaysia

Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 422

You deserved it 22 383

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 117

By zazzleface - 09/04/2012 12:23 - United States - Bergenfield

Today, my mom was in the kitchen when her shirt caught on fire. Acting quickly, I poured my glass of water on her. Instead of thanking me, she yelled at me for making a mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 280

You deserved it 2 372

Sabotage!

By WTF - 12/10/2012 23:00 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 926

You deserved it 1 684

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 35 606

By gothchick201013 - 09/09/2016 18:43 - United States - Dayton

Today, my dog kept barking at the door, and I jokingly shouted, "Language!" My mom heard and grounded me for yelling at the dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 071

You deserved it 1 120

By phonesmuggler - 18/04/2013 19:30 - United States

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 876

You deserved it 5 814

Next

Top comments

Marcella1016 31

Friday 16 October 2020 18:40

I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?

Kris Phillips 3

Friday 16 October 2020 17:01

Go to your room young man? And stay there?

Comments

Kris Phillips 3

Friday 16 October 2020 17:01

Go to your room young man? And stay there?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 16 October 2020 17:51

That's a pretty ******* lame excuse for saying **** when you shouldn't be saying ****. You should have the ******* self-control to reserve **** for important things like commenting at FuckMyLife.

Marcella1016 31

Friday 16 October 2020 18:40

I think the appropriate response to her would have been to say, “Next time I’ll just leave you in the ******* burning building.” Then walk out of her life forever. Am I playing the disproportionately escalating response game correctly?

jfigley 5

Friday 16 October 2020 23:26

Hahaha! Wow that comment is awesome. Thats hilarious....Perfect response

spinspinsugar 12

Friday 16 October 2020 20:03

the house ****** burned down and all she cared about was you saying ****? for **** sakes!!

noporn4u 9

Friday 16 October 2020 22:31

Keep spitting hot fire and you'll start another blaze!

icalledhisname 12

Friday 16 October 2020 23:37

I think this is the most unique FML I have seen and I love it. Definitely FYL, OP. So dumb! The fire sucks then your mom’s reaction to you swearing sucks. If there’s ever an appropriate time to swear, that would be it.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 17 October 2020 0:37

"Yeah? Where the **** am I supposed to stay? My room is ash."

DanielleinDC 33

Monday 19 October 2020 4:14

Given the whole pandemic situation, I don't suppose moving out is an option. And your mom should be grateful you both got out safely.

DarkAngelsBlade 25

Monday 19 October 2020 7:41

Grounded in what home? Like Jesus **** you some parents are stupid.

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The Top

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 033

You deserved it 705

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 449

You deserved it 3 567

The Top

Today, my dad and his new fiancée are like two love-sick bunnies. They start having sex immediately whenever I leave the house. Even when I take out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 065

You deserved it 168

Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 434

You deserved it 653

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there, to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride: 1 - Getting Laid: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 260

You deserved it 101 139

Today, after my bosses excitedly told me I'm getting promoted to customer service at our grocery store, a customer called me an idiot in the parking lot for accidentally backing into the shopping cart she left in my blind spot. So it begins… FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 124

You deserved it 5 400

Today, my cat used his expensive new bed for the first time since he got it last month. He used it as a litter box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 990

You deserved it 1 280

Today, I got so drunk that I decided it was a good idea to get naked and jump on a trampoline in the back of a neighbour’s garden. Said neighbour is a police officer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 995

You deserved it 46 786