Miscellaneous: No cussing - FML

No cussing

By jdsksoapy - 30/03/2009 20:16 - United States

Today, my parents punished me and made me wash my mouth out with soap for cursing. I'm almost 19. I said the word "Hell". FML

I agree, your life sucks 211 127

You deserved it 35 012

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Proportional response

By Anonymous - 16/10/2020 16:58

Today, our house caught fire. While trying to help my mom get to safety, the word "fuck" accidentally escaped my mouth. Once we were safe, she said I was grounded for swearing. I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 164

By libraries are a girl's best friend - 19/07/2013 21:53 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my dad grounded me for swearing, after I read a funny comment on Youtube to my sister. The supposed swear word? "YOLO." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 944

You deserved it 35 606

By siikman313 - 12/09/2011 21:37 - United States

Today, my mom put me in an anger management class because I said "crap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 582

You deserved it 3 943

You OK hon?

By religiunatic - 13/12/2013 17:09 - Canada - Keswick

Today, my normally very modest and prissy mom came home, pissed off about something. I asked her what was wrong, but she wouldn't say, and snapped at me to "fuck off". She then grounded me for "making" her use that kind of "vile language". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 815

You deserved it 3 122

By dadyoureacunt - 21/09/2013 13:10 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my dad made a big show of sending me to my room and grounding me for a week. Not because he heard me cursing at my video game, but because I "swear like a little girl" and it embarrassed him in front of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 514

You deserved it 7 461

Not your day, is it?

By hiheyaiden - 03/03/2022 23:00 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, my mom kept swearing and punished me while I was in an online lesson. I almost got punished by the teacher as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 945

You deserved it 87

By properpissed - 03/06/2014 15:36 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was talking to one of my British friends online, and he told me to say "yew anchors" a few times really fast. I'm a fairly stupid person, and wasn't very focused, so I did as he said. When I finally figured what the words meant, my dad had heard and grounded me for cursing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 429

You deserved it 10 162

Holiday assumptions

By Red Toad - 26/12/2020 20:59 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, I said a few words to my mom that happened to be similar to something offensive, and she misheard. I tried to tell her, but she was so angry that she assumed I was saying more offensive things. Now she is punishing everybody in the house, and I’m not allowed to speak to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 117

By not saying it was whores, but... - 16/10/2014 20:32 - United States

Today, I accidentally belched at the dinner table. At age 22, I got sent to my room with no dessert by my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 396

You deserved it 9 126

By minikat - 02/06/2018 15:00

Today, my parents woke me up and grounded me for the "disrespectful" things I said to them in my sleep. Apparently I say these things every night, and each time I do they extend the grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 106

You deserved it 258

Next

Top comments

SwordSlasher 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:09

Fail parents -_-

drimpossible 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 1:10

Try "Heck!" or if really moved "Fiddlesticks!"

Comments

effevery1slife 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:42

ur 19 years old... say no! can your mom really force you to eat soap? or would she have put u in a time out if u told her no? pussy

popsoda 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:44

move the **** out. your a little bitch if you let your parents or anyone for that matter treat you like that. grow some balls, man up if you are female, then woman up.

Kamicase 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:46

Getting punished for saying Hell: You are ******! Living with your parents when 20: You deserved it! and you don't even have the balls to stand up and say no!

Metal1209 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:47

Don't let them see that you go on **** my life.com!! They will probably make you drink gallons of bleach or something!

rgop 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:50

Your parents have obviously never been to New Jersey...

123412341234 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:53

i almost got a letter sent home (potentially for suspension/expulsion) because i said "who the hell is that?" in class. not even during class time. it was at a lunch break... too bad :( and i agree with #60... moving out and leaving isn't that easy... i've been wanting to move out, but it requires money that i don't have and a lot of planning that i don't have time for. and a lot of people are in school (university), meaning they can't afford to pay off tuition AND rent and food, etc. i mean, it varies for everyone and their current situation. unless you want to go totally homeless. a local public bench could work too... not sure how winter will greet you...

g_unit 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:56

haha and you let her do it? wtf dude. grow some balls.

medfly 2

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:56

whaaat, I thought that was an idiom, not something people actually do...

wickedsick 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 2:57

WTF?! You're 19 and you're letting your dad have you wash your mouth out with soap? Pussy.

xkaokaox 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:06

yes i agree with number 69. you are freaking 19 and LET your parents wash your mouth out with soap? if I were you I'd be like "**** that!"

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Work Management Awkward Friends Miscellaneous Healthy Lifestyle Health Relatable Mother in law Gifts Birthday Family Money Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Love Argument AITA Fear Insects Skincare Cats Job interview Jealousy Gross

The Top

Today, I had an awful day and angrily threw a glass at the wall. Needless to say, I didn't feel like cleaning it up, and I took a nap, intending to do it later. I thought I would remember the bits of glass everywhere when I woke up. I didn't, but my feet soon did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 580

You deserved it 66 652

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 140

You deserved it 12 374

The Top

Today, I had a 5 hour exam. The exam guard had clearly eaten something funky, because she kept burping loudly. When I thought it couldn't get any worse, she started farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 002

You deserved it 3 406

Today, I told my roommate she had to pay $55 to replace a piece of the oven she broke. She told me I was being selfish and decided to illegally break our lease because I was, "making her feel unsafe." Now I not only have to pay for the oven repair, I also have to pay her next two month's rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 271

You deserved it 194

Today, I went on a date with a guy I had been talking to online for weeks. When I showed up, he looked nothing like his profile picture, and he spent the entire time talking about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 147

Today, I was torn from my car and slammed against the hood because a canister of window-cleaning wipes I keep in my glove compartment apparently looks vaguely like a pipe-bomb. My lawyer agreed with the cops, and won't handle the "excessive force" case I threatened the police with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 589

You deserved it 4 418

Today, I had the good fortune of finding a seat on the bus, not the norm in Peru. Several minutes after sitting down, I felt something on my shoulder. Thinking it was a hand, I turned my head to look. I came face to face with a dirty man's crotch, it was his erection resting on my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 177

You deserved it 9 854

Today, I was talking to a guy I've recently started developing feelings for. We've been talking for a while, but he revealed that he wasn't being serious with anything we've been talking about, and didn't have any feelings for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 124