This is definitely is a case of not being Pussy Whipped but being Pussy Slashed !

An axe, is a great way to end that relationship.

Also I read declawing is cruel. But if you can't train your cat to Not gouge your face on a daily basis, you should either put those caps on its nails (good luck trying that on an already mean cat) or declaw it before your facial scars resemble Freddy Krueger.

Also house cats are small for a reason. If they were in different drastic sizes like dogs, your 130lb house cat would eat you or rip your scalp off with one hard swipe of their paw.

I once had a cat who "played" much too roughly even as a kitten and I uses to have scratches up to my elbows. I managed to give him away and now I have two cats who are much sweeter and more friendly. All cats are different, just like people.

It's so original how many idiots use examples like these to hate on cats when dogs actually KILL people on a regular basis every day.

As an expert cat behaviourist (I've watched a few episodes of My Cat From Hell), you should try playing with her with one of those frenzy cat rods and wear her out so she doesn't have all this murderous aggression.

Did anybody… NOT see a cat coming at the end of this?

Usually when cats are aggressive like that there is a reason. Did she have food? Lots of water? Room in the litter-box? Even having too much pent up energy can make them cranky. When he was younger, my cat was like that and he settled down after I started playing with him with a laser-light toy everyday. And a little catnip can help, too. And, of course, there is a chance she could be hurting. Check her for ear-mites and fleas as well. And does she eat her food well?

"No, kitty...bad kitty" (Eric Cartman) Your FML reminded me of South Park.