Awkward, Airplanes and Intimacy: Security check

Security check

By Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 858

You deserved it 70 529

Awkward Airplanes Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 333

You deserved it 2 460

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 15:21 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 323

You deserved it 6 817

Mom Jokes FTW

By Embarrassed Daughter - 18/07/2017 08:26 - United States - Erlanger

Today, as we were going through airport security, my mom tried to joke with the person searching her bag, saying, "Just don't take out my vibrator!" She practically shouted it for the whole line to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 330

You deserved it 354

Pipe down

By Anonymous - 22/07/2019 00:01

Today, my family drove me to the airport. Before they said goodbye, my mom discreetly pulled me to one side and asked if I'd remembered to pack my birth control pills. Unfortunately, my little sister heard, then chased me through the security line, yelling, "YOU'RE ON BIRTH CONTROL?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 753

You deserved it 246

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 255

You deserved it 11 613

By Pissy - 27/11/2016 20:15

Today, I was traveling home with my four-year-old son. While we were standing in line at the security checkpoint, I hear the sound of water dripping and turned to find my son urinating on the floor. He'd read a sign that said we weren't allowed to take any liquids with us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 367

You deserved it 1 042

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 4 815

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 344

You deserved it 6 368

Hurry up

By Anonymous - 28/05/2010 18:07 - United States

Today, while running late to my sister's wedding and rushing to get ready, I accidentally grabbed my travel size shaving cream can in place of my body spray, and quickly drew a blue foaming line across my rental tux. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 069

You deserved it 13 996

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 126

You deserved it 2 788

RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

Comments

RawrSpoon 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:35

How do you forget about the no liquids rule? Last time I was in an airport, they have a sign reminding you every twenty feet or so.

Sterenoa 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 5:15

were you planning on having nasty airplane butt secks

GGTM0710 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 2:20

it depends, if u wernt checking anything I cud understand, but if u were, WTF y wud u need that on a plane

yummylicious 5

Thursday 17 February 2011 6:39

mile high club

oneangredwarf 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:38

why would you put that stuff in your carry on?

alicedbt 0

Thursday 27 October 2011 23:01

just what I was thinking

YDIomg 9

Sunday 4 December 2011 5:17

same! i mean seriously, what were they thinking.

unitedfan11 0

Saturday 7 January 2012 13:19

So they could do it in the plane bathroom. BOW CHICKA WOW WOW!!

till_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:39

haha, i'd have to agree with #1

vicious_ 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:40

#2, mile high club?

teddy4nyy 13

Saturday 25 December 2010 4:27

took the words right out of my mouth

Neep_fml 0

Monday 2 March 2009 3:43

Even with the no liquids rule... why bring vagisil, massage oil, and nair on a plane? I can understand the lube thing... if you were planning on plane sex... but the other stuff.. wtf.